Understanding Human Psychology

I recently had a coaching session where the coachee started with a clear request: "I want you to suggest what I should do about X, Y, and Z." They went on listing their concerns, looking at me expectantly. I smiled and gently reminded them, “As I mentioned before, coaching isn’t about giving suggestions. But I will be here with you to explore all these topics.” And so, we began. Through thoughtful questioning and open exploration, we unpacked each of their concerns. I watched as they reflected, dug deeper, and connected the dots in their own way. As the session unfolded, their energy shifted—from seeking advice to discovering their own insights. When we wrapped up, I asked, “What was the value of this session for you?” They took a moment and said, “It was an incredible session! I got so much clarity.” Smiling, I asked, “Did I suggest anything to you at any point?” They paused, then laughed, “Not at all. And yet, it worked like magic!” That moment—seeing the twinkle i...

It was 2018. I was in Bangalore, sitting in one of the city’s famous gardens, lost in thought. I had just been promoted and was on a business trip. My mind was occupied with plans, responsibilities, and the weight of my new role. But then, something unexpected happened—I heard the birds.   Of course, I had heard birds before. But that day, the chirping was different. It wasn’t just background noise; it was soothing, almost musical. Maybe I had never truly listened before. That moment stayed with me, and from that day forward, birds became a symbol of mindfulness for me.   Now, years later, I live in the heart of a bustling city, yet I am fortunate to have a home in a large society where nature still finds a way to thrive. Every morning, as I wake up and open my eyes, the first thing I hear is the symphony of birds outside my window when I wake up. It feels like they are orchestrating a melody. That is a gentle reminder to start the day with calmness and gratitude. It...

Critical thinking isn’t about rejecting authority or doubting everything—it’s about approaching information with a curious and open mind. The moment we start challenging our starting points, we open ourselves to growth, change, and new possibilities. I remember a coaching session where a client was frustrated with his team. He felt they weren’t proactive and constantly needed direction. “They just don’t take ownership,” he said. Instead of agreeing or offering a quick solution, I asked, “What assumptions are you making about their behavior?” At first, he was puzzled. But as we explored further, he realized he had assumed his team lacked initiative because they didn’t care. In reality, they were hesitant because they feared making mistakes. This shift in perspective changed everything. Instead of being frustrated, he saw an opportunity to create a safe space for his team to take risks and grow. Next time you feel stuck, ask yourself: What assumptions am I making here? You might be surpr...

If our assumptions can keep us trapped, how do we break free? The first step is simple yet powerful: question everything. In my previous post I discussed about how easily we succumb to believing an idea, especially from authority figures.  At most times simple ideas become ingrained and are carried with us for lives. As simple as there are ghosts in dark corners manifests in behaviours we show in adulthood. We also discussed about breaking free from assumptions and beliefs that are not serving help us release negativity and question ourselves the evidence and truth.  Here let's look at a few steps to get started: 1. Identify the Source – Where does this belief or assumption come from? Is it based on personal experience, societal norms, or something someone once told you? 2. Look for Contradictions – Have you ever seen evidence that challenges this belief? What counterexamples exist? 3. Test It in the Real World – What happens if you act as if the assumption isn’t true? Someti...

We don’t just accept assumptions in simple exercises like I had mentioned in my last post about assuming two circles are not identical when someone told us they are not, and then going the next step to pointing out which one is larger than the other. We also carry assumptions into our daily decisions, beliefs, and even lifelong perspectives. Many of the things we hold as absolute truths may simply be ideas we inherited from authority figures, cultural conditioning, or personal experiences that shaped our worldview.  As a coach, I often witness how deeply ingrained beliefs can keep people stuck. Some individuals believe they are “not leadership material” because they were once criticized early in their careers. Others assume that changing careers is “too risky” because they’ve been told stability is everything.  These beliefs are rarely questioned but have a profound impact on their choices, success, and fulfillment. If we can challenge the assumptions it would change our lives...