Understanding Human Psychology

  It’s a Double Century! Yes, this is my 200th blog. It feels surreal to even type that. It all began during the uncertain days of the COVID lockdown. When the world outside shut down, and the world inside felt equally unsettled. Work was reduced to Zoom calls, my PhD had hit pause indefinitely, and my 8-month-old daughter hadn't yet seen a garden or sunshine. Every day was filled with anxious news updates and stories of people holding on to life. In the midst of it all, I turned to writing. I searched YouTube to learn how to build a blog page and just… started. Since then, there's been no looking back. Sharing my thoughts has been healing, humbling, and joyful. Though friends and family appreciated my words, I often wondered— is someone else reading this on the other side of the world? Today, I look at my blog’s stats and smile—page views from different countries, posts that resonated. I feel deeply proud and grateful. Thank you, dear readers, for being part of this jour...

  It wasn’t a coaching session. We were just two friends catching up. She was venting about work, unsure whether to quit. I listened, then asked: "What would staying cost you emotionally?" Her eyes welled up. "Everything," she whispered. That question wasn’t planned. It came from being fully present. We talked for another hour. She didn’t quit right away, but she made changes. Big ones. Sometimes, coaching happens outside the frame of a session. It slips into coffee chats, dinner tables, and quiet walks. It's about presence, not permission. Where have you accidentally coached someone? Comment and share. For anyone who believes conversations can change lives, these books are for you. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A gold standard in coaching, this bo...

This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.   Recently, in my readings, I came across a thought that struck me deeply:   Most human problems, and even unfulfilled aspirations, exist because we simply wait. We wait endlessly — for the right time, the right mood, the perfect plan, the perfect clarity.   Sometimes it’s procrastination.   Sometimes it’s fear of the unknown.   Sometimes it’s sheer lethargy or a sense of boredom.   Sometimes it’s confusion about where to even begin.   And without realizing it, life passes in the waiting. If only we could move past these invisible barriers and act, most of our goals would be within reach.   Sounds simple, doesn’t it?   But if it were, everyone would already be living the life they dream of. Taking action is easier said than done because action demands courage.   Courage to move d...

Many times in a coaching journey, I see a familiar look on my coachee’s face—the unspoken “Why is my coach telling me to take action?” They hear me say that certain actions will need to be taken, that we’ll evaluate them each time we meet—maybe once a fortnight, maybe once a month. And they wonder, Why? Won’t change just happen on its own? And honestly? They’re not wrong. Change will happen. Life moves forward, things shift, and we evolve—whether we plan for it or not. But here’s the thing: when you take action with intention, when you make purposeful choices instead of waiting for change to unfold on its own, you take control of your direction. That’s when you tap into your personal power—your ability to shape the outcome, rather than just being carried along by it. I often hear, “It will happen anyway.” Yes, it will. But wouldn’t you rather be the one steering the ship instead of drifting wherever the waves take you? Change is inevitable, but purposeful change is a choice. This doesn...

In coaching conversations, I often see clients caught in the same struggles for months, sometimes even years. When I ask, “Why didn’t you reach out earlier?” the answers vary—fear, uncertainty, or simply the hope that things would get better on their own. But the reality is, by choosing not to act, they were still making a choice. I’ve seen this happen when coachees hesitate to seek help from their coach or manager. They had opportunities to address their challenges, yet they stayed silent. Now, when their performance is questioned, they feel stuck—helpless, even. But the truth is, their inaction was a decision too. Often, people assume that avoiding a decision will keep them safe from discomfort or failure. But in reality, inaction has its own consequences. Delaying action only makes problems bigger, opportunities slip away, and confidence erode. The fear of making the wrong choice sometimes leads to no choice at all—but that in itself is a decision with lasting impact. Recog...

  Have you ever wondered how often we present a different version of ourselves to the world? The term "genuine" is thrown around casually, but how often do we truly embody it? In today's world, it seems like people are increasingly adept at wearing masks, carefully curating their online personas and projecting a facade of perfection. Why do we feel compelled to hide our true selves? Is it fear of judgment, a desire to fit in, or perhaps a misguided belief that authenticity is a weakness? Whatever the reason, this constant performance can take a toll on our mental health. It's exhausting to constantly be on guard, to be alert for any potential missteps that might expose our true selves. I've observed this phenomenon firsthand. People often put on fake smiles, offer insincere compliments, and express love that feels hollow. While there are undoubtedly genuine individuals out there, it seems that the pressures of society often drive us to adopt a persona that aligns ...

 Image taken from Link- https://pin.it/2rARWplxe In my previous blog, I discussed the initial stages of Peter Senge's model for building a shared vision: telling and selling. These stages involve communicating the vision to others and persuading them to embrace it. In this blog, I'll delve into the subsequent stages: testing, consulting, and co-creating. Testing Before engaging stakeholders in a more collaborative process, it's essential to test the vision to ensure it's feasible, practical, and aligned with the organization's goals. This stage, known as testing, involves letting employees experiment with the vision, put it to use, and assess the outcomes. By gathering feedback and insights from these experiments, leaders can identify potential challenges, refine the vision, and build a stronger foundation for future implementation. For example, imagine a company that is considering a new work-from-home policy. In the testing stage, the leadership team might pilot t...

Today is the day I've been waiting for—my PhD convocation. It feels surreal to finally be here, wearing the coveted doctoral shawl at TISS that feels like a cape on my shoulders. I'm filled with a sense of empowerment and accomplishment, a feeling that's been years in the making. This moment isn't just about the degree. It's a culmination of countless hours of research, writing, and perseverance. It's a testament to the resilience and determination I've developed throughout this journey. My PhD has taught me so much more than just academic knowledge. It has shaped me into a more confident, capable, and well-rounded individual. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned is the importance of building relationships. Collaborating with others has been instrumental in my success. I've learned how to work effectively with diverse teams, negotiate deals, and foster mutual respect.  Setting and achieving goals has also been a key component of my PhD journ...

We are once again celebrating excellence at ZS as We Won the Brandon Hall Awards. I am thrilled to share that my organisation ZS has been recognized with the prestigious Brandon Hall Awards for our outstanding Learning and Development (L&D) function and Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) initiatives. As a proud member of the Talent Development team, I've had the privilege of witnessing firsthand the dedication, creativity, and passion that goes into crafting exceptional training programs. In this blog, I'll take you through our journey to achieving this remarkable feat. At ZS, we believe that learning is a continuous journey, not a destination. Our team is committed to designing and delivering training programs that are engaging, relevant, and impactful. We take a holistic approach, considering the diverse needs and perspectives of our learners. Our goal is to empower employees with the skills, knowledge, and mindset to excel in their roles and drive business success. So, wh...

In my previous blog, I discussed the Telling stage of shared vision development. Today, I want to explore the Selling stage, where leaders actively promote the vision and seek to persuade others of its merits. The Selling stage is a more interactive approach than the Telling stage, as it involves engaging with stakeholders and addressing their concerns. However, it can still be somewhat top-down, as the ultimate decision-making authority rests with the leader. I've witnessed the Selling stage firsthand in various organizations. One example that comes to mind is when a senior manager proposed a new project to the team. Rather than simply announcing the project, the manager took the time to explain the rationale behind it, highlight the potential benefits, and address any concerns or questions. I remember the team being quite fond of the leadership style of involving them, as previously they were always facing telling by the leader. Another instance occurred when a team leader was tr...

  Picture yourself in a meeting where you are talking a download of the vision of your organization from the top management and you are tasked to translate it to the teams to get the work done. I am sure it's not difficult to picture this as we all have been there and done that. In my previous blog, I discussed the 5 stages of shared vision as pointed out by Senge in his book Schools that Learn. I will like to share my experiences of each stage in the coming blogs.  The Telling stage of shared vision development: Today, I want to explore the challenges I faced as an HR manager when implementing a top-down vision. While the Telling stage can be effective in providing clear direction, it can also present challenges for those tasked with translating the vision into actionable steps. In my experience, one of the biggest hurdles was ensuring that I fully understood and internalized the vision before communicating it to my team. When the top management outlined the company's strateg...

 Image taken from book Schools that Learn by PETER SENGE, NELDA CAMBRON-McCABE, TIMOTHY LUCAS, BRYAN SMITH, JANIS DUTTON, ART KLEINER Peter Senge's groundbreaking book, *The Fifth Discipline*, introduced the concept of a Learning Organization. Central to this concept is the idea of a shared vision, a process of aligning individuals and teams towards a common goal. Senge outlines five stages of shared vision development: Telling, Selling, Testing, Consulting, and Co-Creating. Over the years, I've witnessed these stages firsthand in various organizations. In my early career, I experienced the "Telling" phase more often. Leaders dictated the vision, leaving little room for discussion or input. This approach, while efficient, often led to resistance and a lack of commitment. As I progressed, I encountered the "Selling" stage. Leaders presented the vision persuasively, emphasizing its benefits and addressing concerns. This approach was more engaging, ...

  Peter Senge, in his influential book "Schools That Learn," introduced the concept of the assembly line in education. This concept, borrowed from the industrial age, where assembly lines led to mass production, standardization and quality management. This suggests a sequential approach to learning, where one thing follows another, one process finishes before another starts. Linearity started making way in all aspects of our life, even education. While this model has been effective in certain respects, it can also limit our ability to think critically and holistically about life. The assembly line model in education is characterized by standardized curricula, a focus on grades and exams, and a linear progression through academic levels. While these elements can provide structure and efficiency, they can also stifle creativity and critical thinking. By emphasizing rote learning, focussing on grades and individual components, the assembly line model can overlook the interconnec...

  As I turn a year older, I find myself reflecting on my journey as a coach. What started as a role to facilitate growth and progress for others, has become a catalyst for my own growth. Through conversations with myself, I've come to realize that coaching is not just about helping others achieve their goals, but also about working on myself. As I progress in this role, I've learned that self-awareness is key. I've had to confront my own biases, limitations, and areas for improvement. It's been a humbling experience, but also a liberating one. With each conversation, I've gained new insights and perspectives, allowing me to become a better coach and person. My growth has been progressive, with each success and setback teaching me valuable lessons. I've set goals, achieved some, and adjusted others. Through it all, I've come to understand that coaching is not a destination, but a journey of continuous learning and self-improvement. As I look ahead, I'm ex...

  As a coach, I've encountered numerous individuals struggling with self-doubt and negative self-perception. Recently, a coachee asked a poignant question: "Do bad thoughts make me a bad person?" My response was simple yet profound: "The waves are not the ocean." At first, the coachee was taken aback, responding with a thoughtful "huh." This moment of realization was a turning point in our session. The metaphor struck a chord, allowing them to see their thoughts and emotions in a new light. Just as the ocean is vast and deep, encompassing both calm and turbulent waters, our minds are complex and multifaceted. The waves on the surface represent our thoughts and emotions, ever-changing and sometimes turbulent. However, they do not define the entirety of the ocean. Similarly, our thoughts and emotions do not define our true nature. This metaphor helped my coachee understand that their negative thoughts and emotions were mere waves, not a reflection of the...

  In the realm of coaching, the art of listening often trumps the skill of speaking. While a coach's questions can guide a client, it's the silent moments that truly unlock the potential for deep reflection and transformative insights. Imagine a coaching session with a high-performing executive struggling with work-life balance. They've been juggling demanding projects, a growing family, and a desire for personal fulfillment. As they describe their challenges, the executive's voice gradually slows down, their tone becoming more subdued. This is where silence becomes a potent tool. Instead of offering immediate advice or solutions, the coach chooses to simply listen. The silence that follows doesn't feel awkward; it's a space created for the client to delve deeper into their thoughts and emotions. As the silence stretches on, the executive begins to explore uncharted territories of their mind. They start to question their priorities, their values, and their defin...

 The World is Perfect, We Look at It Imperfectly Let's first learn about the Search for the Left-Handed Mug. There once was a left-handed man who lived in a right-handed world. Everything, from designs to molds, seemed to be made with the right-handed person in mind. His biggest problem was finding a mug. Every shop, mall, and store had mugs with handles on the right side. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find a mug made for left-handed people. One day, he entered a shop. With little hope, he asked about a left-handed mug. The shopkeeper listened carefully and said, "Interesting, that's a special kind of mug. We have a special stock, but it's a bit expensive." The man's eyes lit up. He immediately agreed. The shopkeeper brought something from the back. The man was surprised. They were the same ordinary mugs, but with a slight difference. The handles were reversed. The handle that should have been on the right was now on the left. The man looked at the ...

  Account for What You Know, while celebrating progress and embracing growth" As I reflect on my journey, I've come to realize that it's not about who's ahead of me, but about how far I've come. It's easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, but this mindset only leads to discouragement and neglects our own accomplishments. Instead, I've learned to focus on my progress, no matter how small it may seem. I'm proud of the achievements I've made, the skills I've developed, and the knowledge I've acquired. It's essential to acknowledge and celebrate our successes, rather than discounting them. However, I've also come to understand that there's grace in not knowing everything. It's okay to acknowledge the areas where I need growth and learning. I'm proud to be on a path of continuous learning, embracing new experiences, and expanding my knowledge. And it is also true that only if I do not know there will be a cont...

  In the training industry, it has become common for professionals to share their recent training successes on platforms like LinkedIn. So do I very often do. What is often highlighted is the ability to rally participants, engage them in various activities, share experiences, and foster vulnerability within the training room. As a trainer myself, I understand the substantial effort required to keep a group engaged and motivated throughout a session. However, this brings us to a critical question: Are we focusing on the efficiency of our training or its effectiveness, or ideally, both? Efficiency in Training Efficiency in training refers to the smooth execution of the training process. This includes organizing and conducting the session in a manner that maximizes participant engagement, seamlessly delivering content, and ensuring that all planned activities are completed within the allotted time. An efficient trainer can manage time well, maintain participant interest, and deliver c...

  Have you ever finished a good book and felt a surge of inspiration to see the world differently? That's exactly what happened to me after reading Steven Schuster's book "The Art of Thinking in Systems." It opened my eyes to the limitations of linear thinking (point A to point B) and the exciting possibilities of lateral thinking (out-of-the-box solutions). But what truly captured my imagination was the concept of Systems Thinking.  Although I have studied this concept of Systems Thinking as a part of my thesis, I was always looking at the macro picture of how system thinking can be applied to organisations and to running of teams and learning processes. In the rumination I did over these years on Systems Thinking, I hardly thought of how it can be applied to thinking day to day and putting on meaning to how are thoughts can be well structured. The organisation of thoughts as systems at play, can definitely change the way we view the world and the way are minds work....