Understanding Human Psychology

If our assumptions can keep us trapped, how do we break free? The first step is simple yet powerful: question everything. In my previous post I discussed about how easily we succumb to believing an idea, especially from authority figures.  At most times simple ideas become ingrained and are carried with us for lives. As simple as there are ghosts in dark corners manifests in behaviours we show in adulthood. We also discussed about breaking free from assumptions and beliefs that are not serving help us release negativity and question ourselves the evidence and truth.  Here let's look at a few steps to get started: 1. Identify the Source – Where does this belief or assumption come from? Is it based on personal experience, societal norms, or something someone once told you? 2. Look for Contradictions – Have you ever seen evidence that challenges this belief? What counterexamples exist? 3. Test It in the Real World – What happens if you act as if the assumption isn’t true? Someti...

We don’t just accept assumptions in simple exercises like I had mentioned in my last post about assuming two circles are not identical when someone told us they are not, and then going the next step to pointing out which one is larger than the other. We also carry assumptions into our daily decisions, beliefs, and even lifelong perspectives. Many of the things we hold as absolute truths may simply be ideas we inherited from authority figures, cultural conditioning, or personal experiences that shaped our worldview.  As a coach, I often witness how deeply ingrained beliefs can keep people stuck. Some individuals believe they are “not leadership material” because they were once criticized early in their careers. Others assume that changing careers is “too risky” because they’ve been told stability is everything.  These beliefs are rarely questioned but have a profound impact on their choices, success, and fulfillment. If we can challenge the assumptions it would change our lives...

I recently came across a fascinating social experiment that perfectly illustrates how our minds work when performing a critical thinking task. In the experiment, a speaker presented two circles—one blue and one red—to an audience and asked them which was larger. He also added an intriguing statement: The circles are not identical. Then, he asked the audience to vote—some believed the blue circle was larger, while others chose the red. After collecting their responses, he revealed the truth: the circles were 'identical in size' all along.  The experiment wasn’t about optical illusions; it was about perception and influence. By merely stating that the circles were different, the speaker planted a seed of doubt. The audience, trusting the authority on stage, let their minds work based on this assumption, even though their own eyes could have told them otherwise. This experiment highlights a crucial question: How often do we challenge the very starting point of our thinking?  

It wasn’t always easy for me to say no. I used to agree to things like dinners with friends, extra tasks at work, just to avoid disappointing others, it even reflected similarly with personal life. But over time, I realized that constantly putting others first left me exhausted and disconnected from what mattered most to me. Learning to communicate boundaries didn’t come naturally, but as I’m learning it and have tried it, it changed everything. One of the hardest lessons was saying no to my friends. I remember a time when I’d be juggling work and family, yet still feel guilty for declining plans. I’d think, “What if they feel I don’t care?” But I learned that honesty is the foundation of any relationship. Saying, “I’d love to join, but I need to spend time with my family today. Let’s plan for another time,” made all the difference. My friends understood because I was clear and genuine. At work, the challenge was different. Admitting “I don’t know” used to feel like failure, as thou...