Understanding Human Psychology

 I recently had the privilege of mentoring a second-year undergraduate student through a volunteer assignment from my organization. Our discussion revolved around the significance of career choices, with the student expressing a strong inclination towards government jobs for the dignity and societal identity they offer. I took the opportunity to share a valuable insight – it's not merely about the job title or sector, but the value one brings to their work. I emphasized that expertise attracts attention, regardless of the domain. As our conversation unfolded, the student raised the common question of the importance of obtaining certificates. I debunked the notion that it's just a piece of paper by highlighting that it serves as proof of credibility. However, I added that the true value lies in the knowledge gained during education, turning it into a lifelong achievement. A certificate not only provides a starting point for a career but also signifies a commitment to continuous ...

  What do we do to lift each other up? Have you been helping others in need, supporting people around you, collaborating with a colleague for sharing a learning? Everything in life and everybody in life, by nature, we co-exist. In reference to co existence i came across this article on coexistence with nature. In a village Chandapani, in the outskirts of Guwahati, a farmer named Bodo grows paddy, which is a seasonal crop. There are many elephants in that area who come often to destroy the crop. So much of crop gets destroyed before the harvest and it is a big loss for the farmer.   In the given circumstances, the way a human living in a city would think, i put some mind to it. The way we are cutting trees and making concrete jungles everywhere, the farmer must also be doing something to keep off the menance. While this is generally true that either humans would drive the elephants away or probably get killed by their wild side, in this case of Bodo, things were different. Th...

  The real treasure of your life. What is it?  Most of us feel at the first instance that its our job, house, car, jewellery, savings, investments.  But then if we reflect these are the things which give us hedonic happiness. That is when they are there or we get more of it, then we are happ. In absence of these, our happiness reduces or vanishes.  In reality these material items are just instrumental in providing a good life, health, peace of mind, and loving relationships.  Going even further, once we have all of this we still strive to achieve meaning and purpose, flourish in life, make life beautiful for others and make use of our existence. This is eudiamonic happiness. That is it comes from within and we can have it inspite of the kinds of turns external events take. Treasure has different connotations for different individuals, depending on their lifestyle, their experiences, their stafe of living, their stage of evolution and maturity. For some it may be...

  Once upon the time there was a huge oak tree which stood proudly on the banks of a river in the forest. At the foot of the oak there grew many reeds . They often spoke to each other about how different life is for them. The oak said he could view far and have a 360 degree view of the surroundings.  He seemed very proud of his height and slender self. The reeds listened silenty and also at times advised the oak to look at the ground to know what is happening right where they are growing. The oak refused to look down and bow down. He said flexibility is not my nature.  Just then, the winds turned vicious, the soil started to loosen, crazy winds took over. The oak tree, sticking to its nature, did not flex and uprooted. While the reeds bowed, flexed and stuck to the soil, they survived the storm.  Times demand us to be flexible, bow down when we know we can't stand tall, and take alternate routes when required. If we don't budge stating it's our nature, then the loss ...

 We are here for a short while and we must not crib. Lets take the most of of each moment, lets make more friends and spread more love. We must each day aim for exchange of positive vibes with whomever we come in contact. We must be enterprising enough to get ideas that can change the life of any individual we meet with exchange of thoughts, ideas, and sentiments. As a coach I have the capability and the privilege to listen to tons of people who flock in my calendar seeking my time to talk their woes and exchange perspectives towards life. Can I make a difference in their life just by being there? Yes ofcourse! Empathy, compassion, listening and showing the mirror is my job and I love what I do:) Today, in the office we celebrated International Coaching Week 2023. Although we did not splurge much on it and kept our enjoyment simple, it's the little joys that brought our team together in many ways. My boss took the baton in her hands to see to it that each individual gets a customis...

  A farmer planted seeds on his farm and rested for the rain to fall and seeds to flourish into crops. Two seeds started talking. One said I feel so lazy, I do not want to grow up so soon. Growing up is so boring and even tedious to do. I think I will rest in the soil for a while.  The second seed which was buried deep already felt the urge to grow. He said I am waiting for the rain to fall and it is my duty to flourish and bloom into a beautiful plant. That is what my life is for and I will do what I am supposed to do.  As time passed the seed that rested slept for days and months and the other one grew tall and green. One day the farmers dog was playing on the farm and since the spot where the sleeping seed lay was open and barren, he dug it up. The seed was unearthed. The farmer's hen came pecking there and ate the seed. That was the end of a life not well spent.  Learning has to be continuous to be impactful. It cannot be a one off time of training or reading som...

  Have you heard of the story of the elephant in chains? Yes, to tame the giant, when they are young and not strong, they are tied to a pole or a tree using ropes or chains. They are not strong enough to break themselves free at that time. As time passes by they consider it a given that they will be tied to the pole forever. Even with full strength in their bodies, they fail to apply it as they have accepted their life tied to the pole. Another story we have often heard is of the boiling frog. A frog is kept in water and kept to boil. The frog initially is very comfortable. Till the water is warm it feels like this is the ideal temperature. At one point the frog starts feeling hot, but does not still want to jump out as earlier he did not do it. After a certain temperature, the water is boiling and the frog is unable to act, so it boils to death. The other day I saw a truck full of chickens outside a chicken shop. As the man was pulling out the chickens and handing them to the shop...

I stumble across the story of captain Charlie Plumb who fought in the Vietnam war. His story on how he was tortured as a prisoner of war is well known.  From the time he joined military, he flew 74 times and landed back in his territory safely, however at the 75th time his plane was shot and with his parachute landed in the foreign territory where he became a prisoner of war. When after years he  returned to his homeland, his story of how he survived and his tactics of keeping his spirits high even in grave times was heard by many.  One day he came across a sailor, who was on the same ship from where Captain Pulmb had taken off that dreadful flight. The sailor recognised him and mentioned that he had packed the parachute for the flight for Plumb. Captain Pulmb had not recognised him, but suddenly felt grateful as due to the right things done by the sailor, Pulmb was able to effectively use the parachute and land safely. This instant humility which hit Plumb, becomes an ey...

  I don't know your name, but know your soul answered a bot, when asked by a human, how can you like me when you don't even know my name?  Strange as it sounds the latest chat bots who are the babies of artificial intelligence creators are used to solve problems and make life easy for humans, but they are also expressing emotions. Chat bots are supposed to follow only instructions to help build websites, solve puzzles, get answers for humans by crawling the internet. But now a days i am reading a lot of it in news where chat bots are counseling a human and giving hints to the human on how to solve life problems. Like this news article I read the other day asked the human to leave how wife as she didn't like him and even told the human that the chat bot has developed feelings for the human. When the man asked the bot how would you like me as you don't even know my name, the bot stated I dont know your name, but I know your soul.  Where are we headed? If bots respond and ...

  Life is so fast. Everything passes by so quickly. Minutes turn into hours, as hours into days, days into weeks and months, and months into years. How time passes so quick and it is as you read my thoughts right now. It does not stop for anyone and since we are all in this passage of time, in the journey, we do want to make the best of this journey. Ultimately this turns into which we call as a doing too many things and making the best of time. Too many things is what our days also demand. We are in a rat race every morning. Human beings have brought it on them and the generations to come are learning and role modelling that, in particular, more and more from their parents.  Too many things clogs the mind. Being busy makes it harder to take a step back, and think of what we have achieved, gathered, and how we have grown over time. Self reflection is an important aspect of our life, as much as it is to learn, grow and move on. As stated in the famous book 'The monk who sold hi...

 When we think of goal setting in the new year, what are the ingredients that come to our mind? We think of what we have been not doing in the past year. We think of how it matters and what else we must do to make our goals more believably achievable. For any direction we first need map and this map for us is the core of our existence. I am talking of values which we posses. They work like guiding principles. We do not compromise them and they lead us towards our goals. Values like determination or commitment are absolute essentials.  Heard this recently on a podcasts. When Sachin Tendulkar, one of the greatest batsman in cricket, was asked what he felt after the retirement day, he said 'When I woke up the next morning, I knew that I didn't have to go for practice. So i cooked breakfast fo family.' This statement implies that for all his life he went to practice every day, every single morning, without a miss, no procastination, no excuses. Such a behaviour that leads us to...

 Priya was a life coach, she would coach hundreds of stressed individuals and help them sort their lives. Think of life in a simplified way and gain a fresh perspective. However she would often hear from others about how strong a coach would be and would never need any external venting to feel better in any situation. The common words of others would be 'You must be so sorted yourself, as you understand human psychology and who will behave in what way, at what time.' When people look at the life of a councellor or a coach, many a times I have heard them say in awe. Wow your life must be so sorted. There must be just no issue that is worrying you. You must be always taking the right decisions. You must be always thinking objectively. Nothing can deter a person who is so positive. The likes of all of this and more, is a common understanding of many individuals who come in contact with a counselor or even with a life coach.  The truth is how vulnerable we all are as human beings....

  After Riya got flak from her boss Raj for her negligence at work and in fact going ahead and hiding that till asked about it. What do you think Riya felt? And what do you think changed in her behaviour after that incident? She instantly felt demotivated. She decided not to go back and ask him anything related to work also. She started staying aloof and bad mouthing the organisation and it's culture to others, even at work. Feeling anxious, worried, not comfortable to confront are common feelings while we need to go ahead get feedback and ask for feedback. Not seeking feedback does not only deprive you of learning opportunities, but also keeps you away from a much needed insight, especially in form of a constructive feedback. Additionally the eagerness to receive feedback can have a positive impact on the way your seniors perceive you. Many employees are either fearful to ask for feedback or do not know how to initiate the conversation with their seniors or peers in their team. Us...

Remember Riya from our previous article? She was the one who had made a perception of bias towards women in offices because of behaviour of one boss which she generalized across bosses and workplaces. So one day Riya was asked to arrange employee engagement activities at office for Diwali. Her boss Raj gave her the primary responsibility of the task while she also could ask for help and assistance from her colleagues Rohit and Priya. As the program got over, Riya saw few gifts which she was distributing, missing from the lot. As a token of participation, the organisation had arranged plants as gifts. Riya inquired about the miss and the office boys told her that many employees liked the plants and picked them up to take them home. Riya thought that it was a low value item, and they were in excess anyway, so there is no need to inform anyone about the incident. That evening, Raj shared his appreciation in front of the entire team about how Riya conducted the program so well and all the ...

It was Anand v/s Riya at the chess competition in the office canteen. It was funny when Riya observed the crowd cheer them. She saw from the corner of her eye that her boss gave some special attention to Anand while he had his turn to play.  The boss Seetaram was so involved in signalling Anand the next winning moves that he dint even realise that Riya was also a part of his team. Was Seetaram biased? Well in this scenario anyone would think that he was. However, if we go to see from a non-biased third person perspective, that was just a quick judgement we just passed about Seetaram's personality.  An NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) presupposition states 'You cannot not communicate'. We are always communicating via verbal medium or through our body language. Even our silence speaks volumes about our feelings and mood.   Here too, Seetaram was communicating through his body language and gestures. It was assumed in Riya's head that she was been treated unfairly. Al...

  While Lenmark was on his daily walk he spotted a man jogging his way, without feeling the stress or even panting the way Lenmark was. Lenmark thought to himself, 'What fitness does this guy have. Wow! I wish i could be like him n jog without panting at all. Although I have been able to make it for my walk, i still am not good enough.' The day proceed and Lenmark was on a client update call. His counterpart was giving an update and was garnering praises from the boss for his communication. This is when Lenmark thought, 'Woah! When will I get that kind of praise too? I am not good enough with my communication. I need to gear up.' During lunch hour, the team slurpped on another team member's tiffin. Lenmark watched it carefully and thought, 'I can't cook so well too. I am so not good enough.' During a late evening meeting, it was Lenmark's time to present a project he had been working on since a long long period. After his presentation, his team appla...

  It was pooja at home. It was Shalini's wish that her daughter and her son in law came in and sit for the rituals since they were in town. It would also be their first pooja after their marriage. However her daughter refused. She said ''mom I don't really think it matters. I am tired. It is a Sunday and I want to rest as in the entire week I will not get rest and the pooja really does not matter much to me. Please pray to the lord Ganesha from my end." If you were in Shalini's shoes now, how would you feel? Shalini was really upset that why her daughter who was brought up in a particular way, thought in this fashion that was asynchronous to her thoughts. What made her actually say those words that the pooja didn't really matter? It was upsetting for Shalini, and she could not really do any much but remain in the same thoughts over and over. Bringing the same thoughts again and again, the entire day the result was the entire day was spent in ruminating of w...

  Teachers have profound impact on the minds of the young and the older. There is no age for learning. You can be a student all your life. However, few have the geniune interest for studying and applying it to real life. It's not about ability. As ability can be there or developed if there is a will. For those who do not have the passion, it takes a lot from the teacher to ignite it within the student.  But salute to the ones who shape minds, who make futures, who play the mentor and guide to bring learners out of limiting beliefs. Today's children are bubbling with energy, overexposed to external stimuli and carry numerous questions. How can their energy be channeled in the right way. As parents handle one or two kids. But teachers handle atleast 20 or more in class. Definitely the number per class is not lesser than that. An amazing portrayal of what I mean here in the picture. A teacher is like a DJ for learning.. 1. Shifts what matters from everything else. 2. Creates the ...

  Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful without someone need to be telling you that you really are.. If you have doubts about yourself and do not value yourself, how would others value you. No they would definitely not.  You know your worth. And if you do not you must explore it. Yes, social validation proves great when you are already having the high spirits. But at most times when the spirits are low and you carry a low self-esteem, even social validation proves to be a momentary rush of energy.  You can be judged by others opinions. And why do I say that? Because all opinions will vary. If you actually start looking at yourself through others eyes, you will land up having to be dependent on the other person's thought-process about you. You will have many different opinions from people and they will highly influence you to think their way. Each will have their own. No point in having a confused indentity consisted on other's thinking.  Most of the time people...

Freedom, we all want it right? We all want to have freedom of speech, freedom to live, to pursue what we want, to wear what we like, to eat what we love, to just be what we want to be. In these 75 glorious years of Azadi, even the children of this nation have understood and want to practice freedom in every way.  But one thing we are yet to get freedom from is azadi from repetitive, pressing negative thoughts. On this day of Azadi ka Amrut Mahotsav, I pray and wish that all the citizens of the nation practice freedom from any thought which is disheartening. Like in this picture it is said, that look at the bloom and enjoy it while it's here, it may not be there tomorrow for you to see and enjoy. In the same way, we must enjoy our life. Life's bloom is not a forever thing. But when we are preoccupied with our routine and upset about things which are not going fine, we are unable to see this bloom and enjoy what we have.  Always have the attitude of gratitude and life will give ...