Understanding Human Psychology

  I recently started reading How Women Rise by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith, and the first chapter struck a deep chord. It talked about how women often feel guilty or ashamed of their ambition. That line hit home for me. There were times I questioned myself: Am I being too ambitious for my age? For the stage of life I’m in? For the background, I come from? Maybe you’ve had those thoughts too — shaped by subtle messages from family, culture, or society. Sometimes not even told outright, just picked up like background noise growing up. But here's what I’ve learned — ambition is not arrogance. It's a dream in motion. The world’s most impactful leaders — women and men — weren’t apologetic about dreaming big. They rose because they dared to see beyond what existed. I'm thankful to my family and especially my husband, who saw my spark and never tried to dim it. That support has meant everything. But I also believe even without it, ambition should still be honoured, nur...

 Parenting, I’ve realized, is less about teaching and more about learning. In the early days, I would get so worked up watching my daughter mix all her paint colours into a brownish mush, splattering it across the paper—and sometimes, her face and hands. I would cringe at the mess, the stained clothes, the stickiness of it all. “Why can’t she just stick to the colouring book?” I’d ask myself. But one day, something shifted. I watched her dip her fingers into the red, then yellow, then blue. She wasn’t just painting—she was exploring . She was learning how red turns orange, how paint feels on skin, how colours mix to create new ones. It was all sensory play: touch, sight, even smell. It was art. It was science. It was joy. And I was the one who was missing the point. She wasn’t making a mess—she was making meaning. From that day on, I began to pause before reacting. I began to see her world, not through my lens of order, but through hers of discovery. I learned to breathe, smile, an...

  Have you ever felt guilty for sleeping in on a holiday because your child’s breakfast wasn’t ready? Or skipped your workout because you had to pack a lunchbox—even when you knew leftovers were just fine? What about the guilt of choosing silence for yourself over small talk, or taking a long bath while someone else waits for dinner? We tell ourselves stories: “How can I?” “What kind of mother/partner/child would do that?” But these stories, while noble on the surface, often hide deep-rooted self-sabotage. Coaching conversations have shown me how often people hesitate to “put on their own oxygen mask first.” And yet, how can you help others breathe if you’re gasping for air yourself? Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a life skill. It’s a leadership act. It’s a parenting practice. And more than anything—it’s your right. It takes confidence to say, “I deserve a moment.” But confidence is exactly what you get when you allow yourself that moment. What’s one “guilt-driven” act you could re...

  In coaching, one of the most powerful things we can do is honour the client’s metaphor—not just hear it, but hold space within it. Recently, I was speaking with a coachee who had made steady progress toward a personal goal. As we reflected on the journey, I asked, “What would you want to do to speed up the process?” He replied, “I wouldn’t want to speed it up. This is the optimal speed. I want to be cautious. I want to ride the boat at a speed that doesn’t make me topple.” And just like that, the metaphor emerged: the boat . As we sailed further into the conversation, he continued to build on this imagery. He spoke about milestones as islands he passed. He described how with each step, he added new tools, skills, and responsibilities to his boat. That session stayed deeply rooted in his metaphor—and it felt natural, intuitive, and authentic. When a client presents a metaphor, it’s a portal into their inner landscape. They are choosing a symbol that feels safe and familiar. When w...

  After sharing my story of feeling like a fish in a pond during my maternity break, I realised how powerful metaphors are—not just in storytelling, but in coaching and everyday conversations. So often, people speak in metaphors without even realising it. “I feel like I’m sailing through a storm.” “This relationship is sunshine for me.” “When she enters the room, it feels like the air smells sweeter.” These aren’t just poetic expressions. They’re glimpses into someone’s emotional world. In coaching, I’ve noticed how easily these metaphors can go unnoticed. But for the person sharing them, these images are real. They hold emotional truth, and when acknowledged by a coach or a listener, they become powerful bridges to deeper connection and understanding. When someone says, “I feel stuck like I’m in quicksand,” don’t just nod and move on. Pause. Explore it. “Tell me more about the quicksand. What does it feel like? What helps you move through it?” That’s where the magic lies. The meta...

  Back in 2019, during my maternity break, I decided to join my team for an office retreat. My daughter was just five months old, and though motherhood had filled me with love, staying indoors day after day had begun to feel stifling. I missed the buzz of work, the energy of my team, and the small talk over chai. So, when the chance to attend the retreat came up, I took it. On the first day, our business leader asked each of us to pick an object around us—something that symbolically represented who we were at that moment. The responses were beautiful. One colleague said they were like a tree, grounded and nurturing. Another felt like the weather—sometimes sunny, sometimes stormy. Someone said they were a pen, full of ideas. Another felt like a blank page, open to new beginnings. When it was my turn, I chose something unexpected. I had been watching the little pond nearby, filled with colorful fishes trapped inside its stone walls. I said, “I feel like one of those fishes—alive, vib...

I was witnessing a group coaching session. Lots of surface-level chatter. Until the coach asked, "What are you pretending not to know?" Silence. Someone shifted. Another crossed their arms. Then one brave voice said, "That I hate my job but feel too guilty to leave." Boom. Vulnerability unlocked the room. Others followed. Stories poured out. Real talk began. That one question cracked open a safe space. It reminded me: the right question doesn’t provide an answer. It opens a door. What’s a question that changed you? I challenge you to think of a reflective question which will help change the readers' perspective. Write it in the comments. If you’re looking for powerful coaching questions, you’ll love these reads. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A go...

  There was a time I almost said no to the journey of becoming a coach. I was drowning in self-doubt—that annoying voice in your head that whispers, "Who are you to help someone else?" I remember standing outside the room where my first coach training session was about to begin. My hand hovered over the doorknob. I almost turned back. "You don't belong here," the voice insisted. Just then, someone behind me said, "You coming in? You look like you belong here." That sentence shifted something. I walked in. That day didn't erase my doubts, but it planted a new thought: Maybe I do belong . And with every session, every stumble, every "aha" moment since, I’ve learned this: the only thing standing between you and your future self is often just one step forward. Poll: What stopped you from pursuing something you truly wanted? a) Your inner critic b) External circumstances c) Past experiences d) All of the above I've also li...

  It wasn’t a coaching session. We were just two friends catching up. She was venting about work, unsure whether to quit. I listened, then asked: "What would staying cost you emotionally?" Her eyes welled up. "Everything," she whispered. That question wasn’t planned. It came from being fully present. We talked for another hour. She didn’t quit right away, but she made changes. Big ones. Sometimes, coaching happens outside the frame of a session. It slips into coffee chats, dinner tables, and quiet walks. It's about presence, not permission. Where have you accidentally coached someone? Comment and share. For anyone who believes conversations can change lives, these books are for you. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A gold standard in coaching, this bo...

Coaching often mirrors back the truths we hide from ourselves. In one session, a client struggled with setting boundaries. As I guided her through some reflections, I felt a strange discomfort rise in me. It hit me later: I wasn’t walking the talk. I was overcommitting. Afraid to say no. Her struggle was my own. That day, I journaled. I set my own boundaries. Coaching her helped me coach myself. That’s the quiet magic of this work—it transforms both people in the conversation. Do you believe helping others helps you grow too? When did that happen for you? Share in the comments. If you're on your own self-awareness journey, these books are great companions. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A gold standard in coaching, this book teaches how to empower clients by balancing ...

  "I don't need a coach. I need someone who gets it." That was how the session started. I froze. My instinct was to prove myself, show her I did get it. But instead, I asked, "Tell me what 'getting it' looks like for you." She opened up. Slowly, she shared stories laced with frustration, disappointment, and hope. As she spoke, I realized coaching isn’t about having all the answers. It's about holding the questions gently and listening hard. That client changed me. She made me rethink what it means to 'get it'. To stop trying to fix and start being fully present. That’s when the real work begins. When was the last time someone truly 'got you'? Share your expereinces in the comments Want to explore deep listening and presence? Here are some books that helped me. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟 ...

This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. When someone tells me “you can’t do it,” something stirs deep inside me. I don’t take it as a defeat.   I take it as a challenge.   Almost like a silent voice within says, “Watch me.” But as I reflected more, I realized — what is the inner message behind such a statement?   Maybe it's not really about me.   Maybe it’s about someone else’s fear, their limited view, or their need to control.   This thought became even deeper during a recent coaching conversation.   One of my coachees shared something that really stayed with me. They said, “I grew up doing everything the way authority figures told me to. I would please everyone, seeking validation constantly. It’s so deeply rooted in me that even today, I can't do anything without needing someone’s approval. If I don't get it, I feel anxious.” Hearing them say that, ...

  Today, I want to share a little story about my child and how I’m seeing her grow up in the most beautiful way. Recently, I’ve noticed how curious she has become. She asks so many questions — “What is this?”, “What are you doing?”, “What is happening?” Her questions come from a place of pure curiosity, wanting to understand everything around her. When she’s playing and building her own little stories, she often asks, “What is the character feeling?” If she’s watching a movie, she notices the emotions too. She’ll say, “Why is this person sad?” or “Did she feel bad when that happened?” She talks about emotions — happiness, sadness, excitement — with such innocence and clarity. What amazes me even more is how she connects emotions with behaviors. She notices things adults do — in the kitchen, outside, or even while handling something risky — and asks about them too. It’s a reminder of how children grow: through constant engagement, through questions, through wonder. Watching her make...

This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Coaching isn’t just a separate activity that leaders do occasionally—it’s an essential part of leadership itself. Many leaders see coaching as a structured process, something that happens in scheduled sessions. But in reality, coaching is a skill that should be used daily, just like decision-making or communication. Most of the leaders in my organisation, have coachees assigned to them, have regular interactions and coaching connects with them. Glad that my organisation is encouraging this. #ZS Great leaders don’t just check in on their teams to discuss tasks and deadlines; they engage in meaningful coaching conversations. These conversations go beyond work updates—they help employees grow, improve, and feel truly supported. Coaching is about guiding people to find their own solutions rather than just handing them answers.   One of the most valuable aspects of c...

I recently had a coaching session where the coachee started with a clear request: "I want you to suggest what I should do about X, Y, and Z." They went on listing their concerns, looking at me expectantly. I smiled and gently reminded them, “As I mentioned before, coaching isn’t about giving suggestions. But I will be here with you to explore all these topics.” And so, we began. Through thoughtful questioning and open exploration, we unpacked each of their concerns. I watched as they reflected, dug deeper, and connected the dots in their own way. As the session unfolded, their energy shifted—from seeking advice to discovering their own insights. When we wrapped up, I asked, “What was the value of this session for you?” They took a moment and said, “It was an incredible session! I got so much clarity.” Smiling, I asked, “Did I suggest anything to you at any point?” They paused, then laughed, “Not at all. And yet, it worked like magic!” That moment—seeing the twinkle i...

If our assumptions can keep us trapped, how do we break free? The first step is simple yet powerful: question everything. In my previous post I discussed about how easily we succumb to believing an idea, especially from authority figures.  At most times simple ideas become ingrained and are carried with us for lives. As simple as there are ghosts in dark corners manifests in behaviours we show in adulthood. We also discussed about breaking free from assumptions and beliefs that are not serving help us release negativity and question ourselves the evidence and truth.  Here let's look at a few steps to get started: 1. Identify the Source – Where does this belief or assumption come from? Is it based on personal experience, societal norms, or something someone once told you? 2. Look for Contradictions – Have you ever seen evidence that challenges this belief? What counterexamples exist? 3. Test It in the Real World – What happens if you act as if the assumption isn’t true? Someti...

We don’t just accept assumptions in simple exercises like I had mentioned in my last post about assuming two circles are not identical when someone told us they are not, and then going the next step to pointing out which one is larger than the other. We also carry assumptions into our daily decisions, beliefs, and even lifelong perspectives. Many of the things we hold as absolute truths may simply be ideas we inherited from authority figures, cultural conditioning, or personal experiences that shaped our worldview.  As a coach, I often witness how deeply ingrained beliefs can keep people stuck. Some individuals believe they are “not leadership material” because they were once criticized early in their careers. Others assume that changing careers is “too risky” because they’ve been told stability is everything.  These beliefs are rarely questioned but have a profound impact on their choices, success, and fulfillment. If we can challenge the assumptions it would change our lives...

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to talk to someone who truly listens? It’s like looking into a mirror and seeing yourself clearly. I once had a friend who never opened up about his struggles, always brushing things off with a joke. One evening, instead of laughing along, I simply said, “I feel like you’re carrying something heavy. I’m here if you want to talk.” He paused, then finally shared what had been weighing on him for months. People open up when they feel reflected, not interrogated. When they sense that you’re not just hearing their words, but truly seeing them. Being a good listener isn’t just about silence—it’s about making the other person feel safe enough to speak.

Many times in a coaching journey, I see a familiar look on my coachee’s face—the unspoken “Why is my coach telling me to take action?” They hear me say that certain actions will need to be taken, that we’ll evaluate them each time we meet—maybe once a fortnight, maybe once a month. And they wonder, Why? Won’t change just happen on its own? And honestly? They’re not wrong. Change will happen. Life moves forward, things shift, and we evolve—whether we plan for it or not. But here’s the thing: when you take action with intention, when you make purposeful choices instead of waiting for change to unfold on its own, you take control of your direction. That’s when you tap into your personal power—your ability to shape the outcome, rather than just being carried along by it. I often hear, “It will happen anyway.” Yes, it will. But wouldn’t you rather be the one steering the ship instead of drifting wherever the waves take you? Change is inevitable, but purposeful change is a choice. This doesn...

  Anxiety often feels like a vague cloud, hard to pinpoint but impossible to ignore. To work through it, the first step is identifying and naming the emotions hiding within it. Emotions are like signals—each one carries a message. Is the anxiety rooted in fear of failure, uncertainty, or the weight of unmet expectations? By pausing and asking, “What exactly am I feeling?” and describing it—tightness in the chest, a racing mind—you gain clarity. Naming emotions transforms them from overwhelming forces to manageable experiences, empowering you to address their cause and regain control over your inner world. True empowerment comes not from avoiding discomfort but from embracing its lessons.   Here’s a starting point with coaching questions around emotional exploration and emotional intelligence for growth. As an example I have called out a dialogue which would be possibly with anxiety as a emotion. A dialogue to explore this would look like: What emotion are you f...