Understanding Human Psychology

I recently came across this quote by Daniel Gilbert (American social psychologist and writer): "We assume that what we feel as we imagine the future is what we’ll feel when we get there. But, in fact, what we feel as we imagine the future is often a response to what’s happening in the present." It made me pause. Oh yes, we all do this so often! We think about an upcoming event—a big presentation, a career change, a life milestone—and we already decide how we’ll feel about it. If we’re anxious today, we assume the future will be just as overwhelming. If we’re excited, we picture only success. But is that really how things work? It’s like standing on a hill, looking at a distant city. On a foggy day, the city looks gloomy and unclear. On a bright, sunny day, the same city appears warm and inviting. The city itself hasn’t changed—only the way we see it has. Similarly, when we imagine the future, we aren’t predicting reality; we are filtering it through our present emotions ...

 I  was having a conversation with someone who admitted, “I procrastinate. I just don’t take action.” They told me they wait for the right time—the time when they can dedicate hours to a task and complete it in one go. If they don’t have enough time, they’d rather not start at all. I asked them, “But what happens when life puts a full platter in front of you? You can’t eat it all at once, right?” That made them pause. “Then what would you do?” I continued. “Wouldn’t it be better to take one bite at a time?” That’s the key—just begin. Start small and digest it piece by piece. Change your surroundings one step at a time. Tackle a project by breaking it into sections. If you want to build a habit, start with five minutes a day instead of waiting for the perfect schedule. I could see the shift in their perspective. The weight of the task wasn’t the problem—it was the mindset of all-or-nothing. Taking smaller steps makes any challenge feel manageable. By the end of our...

In coaching conversations, I often see clients caught in the same struggles for months, sometimes even years. When I ask, “Why didn’t you reach out earlier?” the answers vary—fear, uncertainty, or simply the hope that things would get better on their own. But the reality is, by choosing not to act, they were still making a choice. I’ve seen this happen when coachees hesitate to seek help from their coach or manager. They had opportunities to address their challenges, yet they stayed silent. Now, when their performance is questioned, they feel stuck—helpless, even. But the truth is, their inaction was a decision too. Often, people assume that avoiding a decision will keep them safe from discomfort or failure. But in reality, inaction has its own consequences. Delaying action only makes problems bigger, opportunities slip away, and confidence erode. The fear of making the wrong choice sometimes leads to no choice at all—but that in itself is a decision with lasting impact. Recog...

Any employer, no matter the industry, looks for two key qualities: the attitude to learn and the ability to develop expertise over time. You cannot rely on just one and expect to thrive. A learning attitude is not just for freshers—it’s equally critical for those advancing in their careers and even leaders at the top. The willingness to adapt, unlearn, and relearn is what keeps professionals relevant. However, having a great attitude alone isn’t enough. At some point, employers expect tangible results—proof that you’ve applied your learning to develop expertise. After all, what can a company do with someone who is eager but lacks the skills to execute? Likewise, expertise without a growth mindset leads to stagnation. Success lies in the balance: stay curious, keep learning, and master your craft. When you combine the right attitude with developed expertise, you don’t just grow—you become invaluable.

  In a recent coaching conversation, we delved into the topic of taking credit for one’s work. My coachee—a talented professional—was struggling with this. He often downplayed his contributions or framed his achievements as “something the team did together.” While collaboration is important, I could see that his hesitation to own his impact was holding him back. I asked him, “What are you hesitant about when it comes to taking credit for what you’ve accomplished? What are you afraid of?” After some reflection, he admitted that he didn’t want to come across as arrogant or overshadow his team. But we both knew that by avoiding acknowledgment, he was diluting his voice and value. Do not dilute your message by saying we just to show you are a team player. By the end of the session, he committed to one action: the next time he presented results, he would confidently own his role in driving them. In our follow-up session, his feedback was striking. This small change became a game...

  That’s so me at the end of the day. That is how the energy is. That is how any pending task feels. Its okay. I sense it’s the same for others. But does that mean that the day has not been full of meaning? Oh no. I love what I do. It tires me for good. And when I get tired, that means I have worked hard man! I’ve worked very hard to make my goals see the light of the day. Physically tired, but mentally proud is how I feel. Sleeping with that mindset brings me new hope to wake up and show up the next day too. So to all the folks who are low today, feel drained off their energy, feel like it’s a burden to do that one more, last task of the day. Its okay. It means you have done what should be done and it has tired you. It means that your mental and physical energies have been occupied productively. It means that you have done your bit in the waking hours of your day. You don’t deserve to beat yourself. You deserve to be proud.

  I’d be honest in stating I’m struggling. In what? In sorting the endless tasks, I have put up for myself in life, and the journey I have set out to have. I have my family, my work, my learning, my routine tasks and myself as an individual to attend to. I often get to hear from my coachee’s during a coaching conversation the similar struggle. And its but natural to feel overwhelmed. Its but natural to not feel at peace and calm when you have multiple things to attend to. A usual coaching conversation also states that at such times, they procrastinate, that is postponing tasks till the need to do it becomes dire. Isn’t that too so obvious. I mean when we are overwhelmed, we generally don’t know where to begin from. So just wait for the right time, right setting, right people to be with you, right support mechanism, right frame of mind. Just the ‘right’ of everything. Who knows when ‘right’ will come. But hope is there that it will. But then there is a catch, the moment which is ‘...

  Anxiety often feels like a vague cloud, hard to pinpoint but impossible to ignore. To work through it, the first step is identifying and naming the emotions hiding within it. Emotions are like signals—each one carries a message. Is the anxiety rooted in fear of failure, uncertainty, or the weight of unmet expectations? By pausing and asking, “What exactly am I feeling?” and describing it—tightness in the chest, a racing mind—you gain clarity. Naming emotions transforms them from overwhelming forces to manageable experiences, empowering you to address their cause and regain control over your inner world. True empowerment comes not from avoiding discomfort but from embracing its lessons.   Here’s a starting point with coaching questions around emotional exploration and emotional intelligence for growth. As an example I have called out a dialogue which would be possibly with anxiety as a emotion. A dialogue to explore this would look like: What emotion are you f...

  In my coaching practice, I encourage clients to explore their emotions with curiosity rather than judgment. When a challenging project triggers stress, we reflect on the root cause—is it fear of failure? Lack of clarity?—and what actions can transform that stress into constructive momentum.   Recognizing that emotions are guideposts builds emotional intelligence and resilience. The next time you feel discomfort, pause and ask yourself: What message does this emotion carry? When we learn to listen, even our hardest emotions become allies on the path to growth.   The Power of Recognizing Discomfort and being vulnerable in coaching sessions can create transformational shifts. Let me dive into this hypothetical example. James, a mid-level manager in a fast-paced tech company, felt increasingly frustrated with his team’s performance. Weekly meetings left him drained, and he was snapping at colleagues. In our coaching session, I asked, “What’s the dominant emotion in thos...

 Have you ever felt a pang of discomfort and wished it away, only to later realize that the very feeling was your greatest teacher? In coaching, we often talk about resilience, self-awareness, and emotional agility, but the first step is learning to embrace every emotion, including those that feel unpleasant.  The truth is: Not every emotion that feels bad is bad.   I was attending a coaching demonstration, during which I was asked to share my observations on what went well and what could be improved. The session was taken by an MCC coach where contracting and agreement was done wonderfully.   For the purpose of the demo, we stopped the session there. Yet by the end of the session, on being asked if I could do something differently what would that be, I ruminated over this. The client had a fair idea about her goal and the deep dive was done by the coach’s questions. However, the underlying emotions behind the transition which the client was experiencing, the anx...

  My leader often keeps saying this, "A good coaching session is like therapy." Coaching is a space where we, as coaches, hold many emotions for the client.  At times what we can see the client's low spiral emotions are coming from irrational beliefs about the world, which the client is unable to perceive. In the course of the session I have come across times when the client goes into a vulnerable zone and starts to shed of the old belief and attempts to form a new belief. This process, not easy definitely, makes clients face a tsunami of emotions. Overwhelmed the client may also break down and cry. How as a coach we hold the space for the person to just be? Usually I have seen the period of new belief formation come after a strong realisation the client feels about a situation, in the course of the coaching conversation. This is generally followed by hmmm and aha and loads of pauses. Silence plays a beutiful role here for allowing the client to absorb and adopt the new b...

  Recently I was designing a workshop on problem solving, when I included the concept of design thinking as one of the topics. I understood it as one of the most effective ways to approach any business problem. I delved into it deeper for understanding and realised that it can act as a guiding tool in any situation. Design Thinking isn’t just for designers of a product or a service—it’s a way of solving problems that fits right into our daily lives. At its heart is the stage of Empathize. The first step towards this approach. This step reminds us to pause and truly understand others’ needs, feelings, and perspectives before jumping to solutions.   Imagine you’re planning a surprise party for a friend. Instead of guessing what they might enjoy, you take a moment to step into their shoes. What do they love? A quiet dinner with close friends or a lively gathering? By empathizing, you ensure the party is a heartfelt success, not just a ticked-off task.   In life coa...

  LXD, a powerful tool, has grown significantly over the years, for managing learning in both in-person and virtual environments. the knowledge you gain out of LXD courses is versatile from the understanding of technology use in learning, to understanding of different learning environments need to be managed, to understanding universal design principles, to understanding the theoretical foundations of LXD.  The pandemic accelerated this growth, as remote work became the norm. LXD's ability to set up consistent development environments from anywhere became even more valuable. It helped learning content developers, learning program owners and learning professionals stay effectively productive, regardless of location (in person or remote). To keep up with the times, LXD has embraced new technologies. The number of tools which I use as a learning professional today in the classroom is nothing compared to what I used 10 years ago.  As LXD continues to evolve and take shape, wi...

 In a recent coaching session, I worked with an employee struggling with repeated quality errors and mistakes. As we dove into the conversation, he shared that he was constantly anxious about how his work would be perceived. He worried that, no matter what he did, something would inevitably go wrong. This led him to overthink every detail, which only seemed to create more mistakes, ironically reinforcing his fears. He described the cycle as exhausting and frustrating, feeling as if he was never able to meet the mark he set for himself. In his words "It is exhausting to be fearful." Listening to his concerns, I could sense that a significant part of the issue was his fear of being judged. He was so focused on the potential for negative feedback that it had become a self-fulfilling prophecy, overshadowing his confidence and focus. I paused, then asked him, “If you could quiet that inner fear of judgment, what would you say to yourself instead? And how would that feel?” He took ...

  Losing a beloved aunt is like losing a piece of one's own heart. The memories shared, the laughter exchanged, and the wisdom imparted create a bond that transcends time and space. As I reflect on her life and the impact she had on me, I am reminded of the promise I made—to honor her memory through my academic achievement. My aunt was more than just a family member; she was a mentor, a confidante, and a source of endless inspiration. Her passion for learning and her unwavering support fueled my own academic aspirations, instilling in me a love for knowledge and a desire to excel. When she left this world, she took a piece of my heart with her, leaving behind an emptiness that seemed impossible to fill. In the midst of my grief, I made a solemn vow—to pursue my doctorate and to carry on her legacy as the second doctor in our family, herself being the first. It was a promise born out of love, a testament to the profound impact she had on my life. Studying for a doctorate is a challe...

  So let's look at something very interesting today. Being a coach and trainer, I've been frequently meeting people on their personal and professional development concerns. A very prominent facet which comes out in most of the discussions is life feels like it is stuck, I'm not moving any further professionally. Hence personal life is also feeling low and dull. In an interview of Richard Bandler, I heard him say, "You can get intelligent day by day or dumber day by day. But you can't remain the same.' Now, what does this mean? And how is is related here? It means that as time passes you either use your life experiences and the learnings to improve their ways of work or they live mindless by doing dumber stuff.  So coming back to the challenge that most individuals face now-a-days. Most people who I speak to for coaching know they deserve better at work, better positions, better salary, challenging job profiles, recognition and fame in society. But how do they g...

  There are different therapies available for various issues in today's times. For example, there are many alternative methods of curing various issues like EFT, NLP, law of attraction and many others that work on the subconscious mind. Alternative therapies have become even more popular than regular medical aid. Famous comedian, actor and foodie, Kunal Vijaykar lost 20 kgs through an alternative method of enhancing his subconscious mind. (https://m.timesofindia.com/life-style/health-fitness/weight-loss/indias-biggest-foodie-kunal-vijayakar-loses-20-kgs-by-enhancing-his-subconscious-brain-read-more/amp_articleshow/90595878.cms) Another video that caught my attention is how thousands of people are using hypnosis as a medium to lose massive amount of weight. This woman in the video just talks to the audiance in a closed hall for hours. After attending her program they start losing weight. Sharing the link here for viewing (https://youtu.be/Bftxx-WXSgA) Similarly, most diseases doc...

  I've been observing how pandemic has impacted children since a while now. When pandemic hit first, children were at a greater loss than adults. Adults were already living much of their work lives online, a long while ago prior to pandemic. But school and college children had not seen online lessons. The concept of online learning existed for working professionals and the pandemic enhanced it in full swing. Learning apps got a boost for schools and skill upgradation. What happened emotionally and psychologically with children is a lack of social space to interact and express themselves. We are social by nature and want to live in herd. It is our natural response to stick to our tribe to get the feeling of love, safety, security, belonging, recognition. I saw the same stress and fear, many kind of question marks on my daughter's face too, when I would take her to meet people or our for a walk. But another observation which I have made children who are in their teens are grea...

  Buddha said when the student is ready the teacher appears. This simplified, means that when the student wants to learn, the teacher must be able to transfer his knowledge. As a part of growth and personal development, I attend various events, programs and sessions related to my field. At times I have noticed that the students genuinely want to learn and are motivated to ask questions on the topic, but the speakers have an agenda which they want to follow and not deviate. So when posed with questions many speakers put the question in the parking lot or ignore it altogether, instead of answering it. It could be that it is a challenging question for the speaker to respond to. But still it is his duty to satisfy the curiosity of the audience by answering it. As a trainer myself, I relate to it that is a classroom if we go with an assumption that no person in the audience is smart and they are here to just listen and agree to the trainer, then please that thought is absolutely supp...

  We all have our own beliefs which guide in many aspects of life to take a certain course. Our beliefs also influence our thoughts and feelings towards others, be it family, friends or work colleagues. Whether what we believe is a fact is another debatable topic. But because we have beliefs, we choose certain behaviours and respond in peculiar ways. How are these beliefs formed and why do we live with them or rather do they stay with us throughout life? Can we change these beliefs? Should we? The answer to belief formation isn't simple. It is a process which is a part of personality development. It is formed as a part of experience as we interact with others. But beliefs make us categorise people as good or bad; once we feel that a person is good or bad, we take a firm stand in our minds and it tends to reduce our flexibility towards life. Let me get more specific here. Every behaviour elicits a reaction and that reaction usually is a definate or confirmed response which we giv...