Understanding Human Psychology

There is no point in setting goals and not working towards them in any way. I get asked many times, what do you do to begin doing a certain tasks like learning, managing your studies, or even get the motivation for cleaning your drawer, or finish a certificate course. Yes we all begin doing these things or at least plan to in our minds. But what is the mindset when it comes to actually doing it.  According to me it is just doing that one step at a time. It's breaking the chain of thinking that i will do it, to actually doing that task. So what to just start doing is: Making sure you are consistent and taking step at a time towards the goal. Making sure that a movement is made , even if slow or small. Remember not to try to achieve everything at one go. It's ok to be small, that is break down the task and then conquer in bits. Check your direction whether it's the right direction in which you are moving.. And never doubt in yourself if you are doing the right thing or you ar

I stumble across the story of captain Charlie Plumb who fought in the Vietnam war. His story on how he was tortured as a prisoner of war is well known.  From the time he joined military, he flew 74 times and landed back in his territory safely, however at the 75th time his plane was shot and with his parachute landed in the foreign territory where he became a prisoner of war. When after years he  returned to his homeland, his story of how he survived and his tactics of keeping his spirits high even in grave times was heard by many.  One day he came across a sailor, who was on the same ship from where Captain Pulmb had taken off that dreadful flight. The sailor recognised him and mentioned that he had packed the parachute for the flight for Plumb. Captain Pulmb had not recognised him, but suddenly felt grateful as due to the right things done by the sailor, Pulmb was able to effectively use the parachute and land safely. This instant humility which hit Plumb, becomes an eye opener for h

  I don't know your name, but know your soul answered a bot, when asked by a human, how can you like me when you don't even know my name?  Strange as it sounds the latest chat bots who are the babies of artificial intelligence creators are used to solve problems and make life easy for humans, but they are also expressing emotions. Chat bots are supposed to follow only instructions to help build websites, solve puzzles, get answers for humans by crawling the internet. But now a days i am reading a lot of it in news where chat bots are counseling a human and giving hints to the human on how to solve life problems. Like this news article I read the other day asked the human to leave how wife as she didn't like him and even told the human that the chat bot has developed feelings for the human. When the man asked the bot how would you like me as you don't even know my name, the bot stated I dont know your name, but I know your soul.  Where are we headed? If bots respond and

Remember Riya from our previous article? She was the one who had made a perception of bias towards women in offices because of behaviour of one boss which she generalized across bosses and workplaces. So one day Riya was asked to arrange employee engagement activities at office for Diwali. Her boss Raj gave her the primary responsibility of the task while she also could ask for help and assistance from her colleagues Rohit and Priya. As the program got over, Riya saw few gifts which she was distributing, missing from the lot. As a token of participation, the organisation had arranged plants as gifts. Riya inquired about the miss and the office boys told her that many employees liked the plants and picked them up to take them home. Riya thought that it was a low value item, and they were in excess anyway, so there is no need to inform anyone about the incident. That evening, Raj shared his appreciation in front of the entire team about how Riya conducted the program so well and all the

  Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful without someone need to be telling you that you really are.. If you have doubts about yourself and do not value yourself, how would others value you. No they would definitely not.  You know your worth. And if you do not you must explore it. Yes, social validation proves great when you are already having the high spirits. But at most times when the spirits are low and you carry a low self-esteem, even social validation proves to be a momentary rush of energy.  You can be judged by others opinions. And why do I say that? Because all opinions will vary. If you actually start looking at yourself through others eyes, you will land up having to be dependent on the other person's thought-process about you. You will have many different opinions from people and they will highly influence you to think their way. Each will have their own. No point in having a confused indentity consisted on other's thinking.  Most of the time people pass casua

  Loved this - No one can see his reflection in running water. It's only still water that we can see. Such an insightful analogy, and also profound.  Pause and give it a thought. How fundamental it is to approach any situation with a calm mind to see a clear picture. At most times the storm is within the individual. A series of thoughts blocking the mind. Choose to let them obstruct your path and they will. Vis-a-vis choose to clear the mind from running negative images. Let settle in positivity by challenging the limiting beliefs.  A coach can help in this regard. Be it relationship, finance, career, role change, learning challenges or any such aspect.  Only if a person approaches his world with calm, he will be able to see his reflection of thoughts objectively.  How calm are the waters in your mind at most times? Do you see your reflection clearly? 

  He asked his Manager, 'who will be responsible for this work?', and his Manager told him, 'Oh you all are responsible, do it together, you have to all own this.' When this happened, what do you think was the outcome...we will see... Social Loafing, what about this concept. Let me clarify, what it really means. When a task is given on common forum and it is told that you all have to own it, it is something common between you all, and you have to do it. It could be like making a calendar, like documenting and reporting or sending an email or anything for that matter. If you don't tell anybody specifically what is supposed to be done, then definitely there will be no particular person responsible for it. Then social loafing effect will take place. I have to do the task or another person? And everybody thinks, somebody else will do it. It is like when an accident happens on the road, and that is a classic example of social loafing. Everybody looks at each other's

  As I read more and more about positive self beliefs and about the conscious decision to disregard negative self beliefs, I realise how my life is changing, how each day, each passing day is summing up as more productive. For me every positive thought is making a difference. I coneciously realise that previously in the same situation, I would have got disappointed or angry in the heat of the moment.  At many times maybe to satisfy ego or maybe to put a point forward, we want to just argue or at times just feel the need for showing dominance. However, in most circumstances we land up with an event not in our favour. It either becomes a win-lose, lose-win or a lose-lose. None of it really is an I am ok-you are ok, because it's not a win-win.  Inappropriate words may not just be bad for personal life, but even professional lives of people get badly affected by it. Very recently I have observed many people who come to the brink of of doing an action which is positive for them or whic

  The Beautiful Journey Towards Success Smart work does not replace hardwork to achieve success. To be a leader, to grow to that level, you should have done all the work that you are going to then, at that stage, supervise. Your hands on experience much earlier in your career will help you confidently take future roles. Sadly, the generation in their 20s, so many of them, do not resonate with this concept. This is purely my observation over a few years and I am open to any logical argument, if you propose otherwise. May be this interaction and observation of mine is limited to the call centre industry that I've been associated with beyond 4 years now. After finishing swanky MBAs or engineering degrees too, a large number of pass-outs come to join BPOs as a Customer Care Agent. Where, I do very much respect all types of jobs, at the same time, I feel waste of a college seat, waste of money, time and talent should not be done. After a great degree, unfortunately done under the for

  In a search for meaning and purpose of life, most of us associate ourselves with tangent entities around us. For us even God has to be tangent, therefore idol worship exisits. But once our family and friends get on with their own lives, our children have their own careers and families to settle with, our education is over and we retire from our careers. One day we wake up to having one or more of these aspects missing, in our lives, to look after and look forward to. It could be that we have retired and the job which was an identity or purpose of life, is not associated with us anymore. For example a person who has got fired from her job may feel an absolute helplessness, void and would question their existence. We all must have our own purposes and that should drive us to being ourselves. We must go after the things that we want. And this want is different for everyone. I am what I am within myself. My purpose is not my family, friends, education, child, job or career. My purpose

  To learn you need to unlearn and relearn and associate your learning with something in your daily life.  You cannot keep learning new information unless you  revise and practise for improving retention. To improve memory and learning, you need to practice the newly learnt information over and over again. Just taking in new information would be like pouring tea in a cup, which will eventually be full and over flow untill you consume some tea, that is ustise the learning practically. Reading and knowing about new things brings immese intellectual satisfaction, but it does not necessarily guarantee retention. To assure yourself of adding value by spending time to learn new things, we must challenge ourselves by putting them into practise in different ways in our daily schedule. According to an article in APA, learning performance is enhanced if students engage in deliberate practice.   A Youtube video of certified speaker, corporate trainer and guinness record holder on memory, Nishant

  Portfolio Update I was recently reading LinkedIn for skills that employees must acquire as working professionals and freshers, especially after the pandemic, when so many jobs have become redundant, new jobs have cropped up and some have seen modified working styles and requirements. The article focussed on the PM's statement, on ‘the importance of getting skilled, reskilled and upskilled as the need of the hour.’ Dr. Manish Kumar, MD of National Skill Development Corporation, in an interview, stated that, ‘the industry requires us to upgrade’. While, hard skills or technical skills, in-demand, vary from logistics, AI, analytics, machine learning, BFSI, data science; employers are also seeking soft skills for their workforce .  Some of these skills, like communication, are learnt as a result of being taught and with practice. But others, like empathy, adaptability, ability to manage change, growth mindset, are more of personality traits, according to me. Yes, we do teach these

Let's Think of Values Values are principles or beliefs, held by each of us. These are instilled in us, to the core, generally in early life, mostly the influence of family, social circle, and school. Although, the overall impact of the culture and society we live in dominates how we think and freeze our views, and make us take a stand on various topics; values guide our behavior, motives, ultimately influence our goal. If your goals are aligned to your values, you stand a better chance to achieve them. First, understand your values and beliefs. What is it that you care for intensely and intently. Many things in your life will be dependent on your values, how you make a living, live your life. If goals are not aligned to your values then they will ultimately fizzle out after the initial rush. As your values do not sync, you will start losing interest in that goal. Trust yourself and your intuitions. Simplify the solutions that you set for yourself. The more complicated th

In my previous post ‘ Work Hard Today For A Better Tomorrow ‘, I had spoken about setting SMART goals and visualizing your future. Here is an elaborate discussion on the importance of goal setting. It’s always good to have a plan, rather than have no plan at all. As humans, we are having the power of thoughts and the ability to control them. Goals too, start with a single thought to begin with, and the actions we put in, are ways to manifest them to reality. It is important to live your goal and breath it every single moment. Having goal clarity rapidly changes the way you think and desire them. But, the question is, aren’t we naturally programmed to set goals and work on them? Day-in-and-day-out we are doing that. We have reasons behind the actions we do, we want a good job, a decent income, a happy family, a successful life and so much more. These are some of the reasons common to most of us, the reasons why we kickstart our day, slog it out, and make a living. So we do

Throughout childhood and my school life, I was a shy and to an extent introverted girl. I would talk to a group of close, trusted friends. It was grade 7 when I was standing on the stage for an elocution competition, and stage freight struck me hard. I got severe cramps and fell down right at the place where I was standing. Today, after almost 20 years, I am a successful trainer and L and D professional, with 11 plus years of experience. So how did this fear vanish? Or did it diminish, and some of it is still there?  Here I shall share some things which I did over the years. Most of them are tried and tested over places by people and they have worked wonders to overcome stage fear. Glossophobia- Fear of Public Speaking Fear of Public Speaking is known as Glossophobia . About 75% of the population suffers from this condition. However, most people do not know about it, as they do not get a chance to engage in public speaking, or they get over this social phobia once t

Recently, I saw a video of Shiv Khera, the world-class motivational speaker, talks about how this time of lockdown is downtime , and for most of us, it is an opportunity to upgrade our skills, learn a new competency, take up a new course which may be useful for our career. Once the lockdown opens, we will be able to start off with renewed energy and focus. Most of us are honing on this opportunity and taking to the internet to learn new information and learn new courses. Many websites like Coursera, Udemy, and many others also offering free courses for those who are interested. But with tons of information being piled up in front of us, it is essential for us to chunk and store it well in our memory. We must be able to access the reservoir of information. Information Overload Getting exposed to a lot of information is detrimental and may instead confuse us . However, if we are aiming at taking in the right amount of information would be ideal to get mental stimulat