Understanding Human Psychology

I often wonder who reads my blogs. I write because I genuinely love writing. I enjoy putting a thought together, reflecting on something I've experienced, or simply sharing an idea that has stayed with me. Yes, I post them on LinkedIn and sometimes on other social media platforms, but I have never really written with a very deliberate goal of making the blog popular or turning it into something commercial. So, naturally, I have wondered many times "does anyone actually read them?" And then, one day, at a family gathering, something happened. A very distant relative met me and, after the usual greetings, she suddenly said, "Hey Shazneen, I love your blogs! I follow them on one of the platforms you post on. I actually read them. They give me some great new topics to think about and some interesting insights." I was honestly flattered, because someone had praised my writing and that too someone I least expected was quietly reading something I had been putting out i...

I have often heard people say to me, "How do you get it all right?" How do you manage a child and your career? How did you do your PhD while working? How do you study, work, write a book, keep learning, and still manage your family? How do you make your child study while managing your own work? Sometimes I smile because the question itself assumes that I have figured out some secret formula. I haven't. In fact, I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect work-life balance anymore. I think it is more about work-life integration. The boundaries are not always clear. While helping my child study, I may also have my laptop open. While working, I may take a call from home. While I'm at work, I may suddenly wonder whether my child has reached home or what she must be doing at school. And when I am finally in bed, supposedly in my "personal time", my mind may already be planning what needs to happen the next morning. That's life. We try so hard to sepa...

There was a time when, if someone had asked me to stand on a stage and speak, I would have wanted to disappear. Once upon a time, it was me. I too was a shy child, constantly wondering whether people accepted me. Whether I was good enough. Whether I belonged. It took me years to realize that not everyone's acceptance matters, and even among those who matter, only to a certain extent. Some lessons cannot be taught. They can only be experienced. This was one of them. For many years, I was just one among the many. Today, I know I am the one among the many. Not because I am better than anyone else, but because I have found my inner strength and my own reassurance. I still remember where it all began. I was standing on a stage for an elocution competition. A frightened little girl looking at a room full of teachers and students. I could feel the judging eyes on me. The expressionless faces made me even more nervous. I hated every second of that moment. My body gave up before my mind did...

I recently came across an article about AI "reading the room." The idea was fascinating. Imagine you're facilitating a workshop or leading a meeting, and AI is continuously analyzing the room. It tells you whether people are engaged, whether they are distracted, whether your energy has dropped, or whether you need to change your approach. As someone who has facilitated learning sessions for many years, I had mixed feelings. Facilitation has never been just about knowing the content. It is about being present. It is about noticing the person who suddenly sits back in their chair, the participant who leans forward because something sparked curiosity, the one who hesitates before speaking, or the smile that tells you an example has landed well. It is about sensing the energy in the room and adapting in real time. Can AI do that? Maybe, to some extent. It can probably detect facial expressions, body posture, eye contact, speaking patterns, or periods of silence. It may even t...

  Take your work seriously. Don't take yourself too seriously." I recently heard this thought in a podcast featuring Kunal Shah, and it stayed with me long after the podcast ended. He spoke about how there have been brilliant thinkers, inventors, and leaders who have done extraordinary work, and yet, over time, many of them have faded into history. He even mentioned how people working at the Bombay Stock Exchange didn't know who its founder was. It made me pause. We spend so much of our lives worrying about what people think of us, whether we are successful enough, whether this one meeting went well, whether someone appreciated our work, whether this week has been good or bad. We carry the weight of every little event as though it defines our entire life. But does it really? I don't think the message is to become careless. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite. Take your work seriously. Do it honestly. Do it sincerely. Give it your best. Learn from it. But don...

  Ive forever been pro learning from the times of my college days. Untill school I felt I did not have a choice of what I wanted to study about. But then in college, I had almost all the subjects of my choice. I loved to study for the fondness of knowing more about the topic, especially when the subject was psychology. I also noticed that the teachers one encounters are also responsible to bring out the interest of the student in that subject. And touchwood all my psychology teachers were those kind of teachers who developed our interests and engagement. After that time, I learnt and loved to study. I completed my graduation in entire psychology and then masters. While I was at work, there was a time when I was dealing with labour and thats when learning about labour laws was what I invested my time in, my second masters was the reason behind it. But curiosity kills the cat! So I went on to invest my everything to my PhD studies, it took years, money, effort and a lot lot of brain ...

Don’t Fool Yourself Into Thinking You Know It All I recently came across a quote by Richard Feynman that really stayed with me: > “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”  ( https://m.economictimes.com/news/international/us/quote-of-the-day-by-richard-feynman-the-first-principle-is-that-you-must-not-fool-yourself-and-you-are-the-easiest-person-to-a-powerful-reminder-about-self-deception-critical-thinking-personal-growth-and-why-facing-the-truth-is-often-the-hardest-part-of-becoming-wiser/articleshow/131228463.cms ) The more I thought about it, the more I realized how relevant this is in today’s world — especially in learning, work, and even with AI around us. We live in a time where information is everywhere. You can ask AI anything, get beautifully structured answers, summaries, frameworks, presentations, even deep-sounding insights within seconds. Social media gives validation instantly. People praise your thoughts, you...

  Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about AI — especially around L&D, research, and learning sciences. The more I read, the more one thing becomes clear that AI is powerful, but it needs human caution and human touch. Let me explain what I mean in very simple words. We use a lot of Gen AI to write our emails or do some project work at work or school, yet if AI writes everything for you, what are you learning? If you use AI for every email, write up or every summary, you can feel productive, but you don’t always feel deeply connected to what you produced. The attention and attachment to material is limited as less thought has gone to create it. Because learning is not just about output, it is about the neural connections forming in your brain. When you struggle to write, structure, rethink, delete, rewrite, that is when real learning happens. That is when memory sticks. That is when your thinking sharpens. If AI does most of that heavy lifting, you might understand the topic, but ...

  2025: From Awareness to Influence — A Year That Changed How I Operate As 2025 draws to a close, I find myself pausing, first, to measure the year by milestones, and second to measure it by movement . Inner movement, Relational movement, and finally, Systemic movement. If I were to describe 2025 in two halves, the first half was about awareness and connection, and the second half was about stakeholder management and collective momentum. What’s interesting is that the second half could only exist because of the first. It Started With Awareness - Early 2025 gently but firmly nudged me inward. Awareness of self, patterns, what energizes me and what drains me. That awareness naturally led to a deeper connection with self, my intent, my values, my way of being in the world. And once that connection with self strengthened, my connection with others became more authentic, more grounded, and more meaningful. Conversations felt less transactional and more intentional. Listening became dee...

 What it really means to get Educated  She grew up in a world where the mountains were her only teachers and the boundaries of her life were drawn long before she could question them. Her days were filled with chores, silence, and a set of beliefs so deeply rooted that they felt like the only truth. She didn’t know what school felt like. She didn’t know what a classroom looked like. And she definitely didn’t know that asking questions was even allowed. But somewhere inside this girl — Tara — a small spark of curiosity refused to die. It flickered quietly, almost fearfully, every time she wondered why the world outside her home was off-limits. It glowed a little brighter when she secretly listened to people talk about things she had never heard of. And one day, it burned strongly enough for her to take the first step: to educate herself. Her journey was not just about learning math or history or grammar. It was about challenging her own reality. Every new idea she encountered d...

  I was recently revisiting The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and one agreement stood out differently this time: “Always do your best.” We hear this phrase all the time — put your best foot forward, give it your 100%, strive for excellence. But somewhere along the way, “your best” became confused with “the world’s best.” And that’s where the pressure begins. When Ruiz talks about doing your best, he isn’t pushing us toward perfection. In fact, he repeatedly reminds us that our “best” is not a fixed benchmark. It changes from day to day, with our energy, our circumstances, and our emotional bandwidth. Some days your best looks like running three projects at once. Other days, your best looks like simply showing up. Both are valid. But the world doesn’t always view it that way. We’re surrounded by expectations — from society, parents, teachers, bosses, even peers. Somewhere, without realising it, we start performing for the world, not for ourselves. We begin to believe that “doi...

  It was a bright Monday morning when I opened my laptop, sipping my coffee and staring at a long to-do list. Deadlines, meetings, reports, all lined up neatly. I dove straight in, ticking tasks one after another. By evening, the list was shorter, but I wasn’t feeling accomplished. Instead, a quiet voice inside asked, “Why am I even doing all this?” That question lingered — unsettling yet necessary. Because sometimes, amidst the what and the how, we lose sight of the why. Simon Sinek calls it the Golden Circle — Why, How, and What. Most of us start from the outside: What we do (our tasks, roles, duties), then How we do it (our processes, tools, and strategies). But the truly inspired, and inspiring individuals and organizations start from the inside out. They begin with Why — their purpose, cause, or belief that drives everything else. Yet, in daily life, we often get caught in the whirlwind of what: what’s next, what’s urgent, what needs to be done. We become efficient but not alw...

  A busy world outside, and a still moment inside. Others rushing home, me pausing in the here and now. Looking at the world from a frame inside a hospital room. The window, the only source of information for the outside. The feeling of being Rupenzal in a trapped castle. She was physically trapped and I was mentally.  The physical body giving up on pain, my mom was having a broken bone. I see it and feel mentally distraught. I was there and from there to where else I could be. Memories of me playing with my daughter floated by. Me being absolutely comfortable in my office chair, having a bunch of colleaguess floating around and making merry, I remembered it all.  It was 7 long days, loonnggg daayys. Although it was the finest of rooms of the hospital, but who likes to stay there.  I so felt the need to be home, so felt that the warmth of home cannot be taken for granted ever, ever in times to come too. Today it's past 2 months, nearly, when I recall that time and sa...

  Many are redefining what retirement means, and some are achieving it earlier than expected. Imagine retiring in your 40s, like some did during the voluntary retirement schemes in nationalized banks and government institutions. Today, this trend extends beyond those sectors. Individuals seeking a slower pace of life, meaningful experiences, and quality time with loved ones are opting for early retirement. With great salaries in their early careers, some have made savvy investments, enabling them to pursue alternate passions and laid-back lifestyles in tier 2 or 3 cities. The shift in thinking is clear: life is too short for long commutes and extended work hours. Instead, many prioritize time with family and partners, valuing experiences over professional achievements. This path isn't for everyone, though. It requires smart financial planning and saving wisely. Those who've taken this route often cite the importance of living life on their own terms. As we navigate changing wor...

  “Teacher, I need one more supplement!” — said someone in class. Instantly, all heads turned toward the bright student who had already filled up the main answer booklet and still had more to write. We all knew the rule: a 10-mark answer must have an introduction, body, and conclusion. It should be at least two and a half to three pages long. If you managed four pages, you were considered above average — likely to score well. This belief — that the more you write, the more marks you get — isn’t something of the past. It still exists. From time immemorial, our education system has valued learning and recall. It tests memory. But does it test intelligence? That brings us to a deeper question: Should education be about testing intelligence at all? Isn’t the real purpose of schooling to help children learn new concepts, develop skills — both academic and life-related — and grow from where they are? Recently, I came across an interesting development — some education boards now provide a...

I stood on a platform in the second row. Tried to gulp my nerves and stared at the open area ahead, the hall was humongous. I imagined the audience there and gulped another ball of anxiety down my throat. It was my turn, I raised my voice like a wave and I hummed the lines of the song. My teacher gave me a blank stare and after five seconds told me 'You are singing so beautifully, then why is your face like you have had castor oil?' I released the breath I was holding, and broke into a slight smile, my heart still beating of the fear of being judged of what I was there for. The same feeling which had kept me away from taking the centre spot and playing the lead singer in the western music choir. On the final day I hummed boldly, as I had got a 'great job' tag from my music teacher. Time lapse today I hold my tough emotions close to me. I write to express. I missed writing this last month when I was occupied in caregiving of my loved one. As responsibilities have taken n...

  There was a time when conversation starters would be about weekend plans, food, family, office, and traffic woes, now in many conversations, whether at work or over coffee, it's somehow loops back to AI. From did you watch that show? To- Did you try that AI tool? Did you tell ChatGPT to do this? It's a talk we have as as way of life. Earlier, conversations at work were largely transactional: updates, reminders, or basic planning. But AI has transformed the quality and direction of our discussions—into deeper reflections about how it's shaping work, creativity, ethics, and identity. Our conversations have shifted from catching up to keeping up with AI. AI has become second brain, a friend in the pocket, a co-pilot always available to steer the ship with you. However, we need to be updated about this latest technology. Learning about how blur are the lines between AI and human.  AI is no longer a buzzword. To learn more about this evolving technology one must be on top of n...

  Do you find yourself deflecting compliments at work? When someone appreciates your growth or contribution, do you instinctively say, "Oh, I’ve learned a lot from my team," or "It was all because of my mentors"? While acknowledging support is beautiful, do you ever pause to recognize yourself? Your effort. Your journey. Your learning. Your transformation. In many workplaces, especially in fast-paced environments, we rarely stop to track how we’re growing — mentally, emotionally, or professionally. We often forget to document the small wins, the newly formed habits, the brave conversations, the mindset shifts. Instead, we credit others for how far we’ve come. But here’s a reminder: Your learning is yours to own. Your development is the outcome of your effort, your initiative, and your consistency. That’s exactly why I wrote my book “Learnager” — a guide to lifelong learning and taking charge of your growth. 📘 You can get it here: Amazon KDP – LEARNAGER : From Learn...

  Why Learning Faster Than the Competition Isn’t Optional Anymore — It’s Survival There’s a quote I keep returning to — “The only sustainable competitive advantage is an organization’s ability to learn faster than the competition.” – Peter Senge And it’s not just for organizations. It’s true for individuals too. In today’s world, if you're standing still, you're falling behind. This quote became the heartbeat of a chapter in my book “Learnager” — a book that isn’t just a guide to learning, but a mindset manual for those who want to thrive in fast-paced corporate landscapes.  LEARNAGER isn’t about being a student again. It’s about becoming a lifelong, self-driven learner — someone who embraces reflection, adapts quickly, and transforms knowledge into meaningful action. Why is this important? Because learning is your real leverage. Not your title. Not your years of experience. Your ability to unlearn, relearn, and evolve. And if Senge’s insight resonates with you, LEARNAGER show...

  Six Years, Many Dreams Six years ago, on 16th July, a little heartbeat made mine grow stronger. Today, she turns 6 — my daughter, my mirror, and often, my teacher, she shaped me to be a better human. I find myself reflecting not just as a parent but as a learner what these years have been for me, how I've grown up. Because alongside her, I’ve grown too as a better human. Through phases of chaos and calm, through questions and quiet moments, she’s unknowingly taught me the power of resilience, reinvention, and reflection. And today, on this special day, another dream quietly takes flight. I’m thrilled to share that my book LEARNAGER From Learning to Leading in The Real World is launching today. 📘 Available on: Amazon KDP – LEARNAGER : From Learning to Leading in the Real World   https://amzn.in/d/badNOEx   Pothi Print Book https://store.pothi.com/book/dr-shazneen-gandevia-learnager/ Pothi e book https://store.pothi.com/book/ebook-dr-shazneen-gandevia-learnager/ The...