Understanding Human Psychology

I recently came across this quote by Daniel Gilbert (American social psychologist and writer): "We assume that what we feel as we imagine the future is what we’ll feel when we get there. But, in fact, what we feel as we imagine the future is often a response to what’s happening in the present." It made me pause. Oh yes, we all do this so often! We think about an upcoming event—a big presentation, a career change, a life milestone—and we already decide how we’ll feel about it. If we’re anxious today, we assume the future will be just as overwhelming. If we’re excited, we picture only success. But is that really how things work? It’s like standing on a hill, looking at a distant city. On a foggy day, the city looks gloomy and unclear. On a bright, sunny day, the same city appears warm and inviting. The city itself hasn’t changed—only the way we see it has. Similarly, when we imagine the future, we aren’t predicting reality; we are filtering it through our present emotions ...

I stumble across the story of captain Charlie Plumb who fought in the Vietnam war. His story on how he was tortured as a prisoner of war is well known.  From the time he joined military, he flew 74 times and landed back in his territory safely, however at the 75th time his plane was shot and with his parachute landed in the foreign territory where he became a prisoner of war. When after years he  returned to his homeland, his story of how he survived and his tactics of keeping his spirits high even in grave times was heard by many.  One day he came across a sailor, who was on the same ship from where Captain Pulmb had taken off that dreadful flight. The sailor recognised him and mentioned that he had packed the parachute for the flight for Plumb. Captain Pulmb had not recognised him, but suddenly felt grateful as due to the right things done by the sailor, Pulmb was able to effectively use the parachute and land safely. This instant humility which hit Plumb, becomes an ey...

 Priya was a life coach, she would coach hundreds of stressed individuals and help them sort their lives. Think of life in a simplified way and gain a fresh perspective. However she would often hear from others about how strong a coach would be and would never need any external venting to feel better in any situation. The common words of others would be 'You must be so sorted yourself, as you understand human psychology and who will behave in what way, at what time.' When people look at the life of a councellor or a coach, many a times I have heard them say in awe. Wow your life must be so sorted. There must be just no issue that is worrying you. You must be always taking the right decisions. You must be always thinking objectively. Nothing can deter a person who is so positive. The likes of all of this and more, is a common understanding of many individuals who come in contact with a counselor or even with a life coach.  The truth is how vulnerable we all are as human beings....

  It was pooja at home. It was Shalini's wish that her daughter and her son in law came in and sit for the rituals since they were in town. It would also be their first pooja after their marriage. However her daughter refused. She said ''mom I don't really think it matters. I am tired. It is a Sunday and I want to rest as in the entire week I will not get rest and the pooja really does not matter much to me. Please pray to the lord Ganesha from my end." If you were in Shalini's shoes now, how would you feel? Shalini was really upset that why her daughter who was brought up in a particular way, thought in this fashion that was asynchronous to her thoughts. What made her actually say those words that the pooja didn't really matter? It was upsetting for Shalini, and she could not really do any much but remain in the same thoughts over and over. Bringing the same thoughts again and again, the entire day the result was the entire day was spent in ruminating of w...

  Teachers have profound impact on the minds of the young and the older. There is no age for learning. You can be a student all your life. However, few have the geniune interest for studying and applying it to real life. It's not about ability. As ability can be there or developed if there is a will. For those who do not have the passion, it takes a lot from the teacher to ignite it within the student.  But salute to the ones who shape minds, who make futures, who play the mentor and guide to bring learners out of limiting beliefs. Today's children are bubbling with energy, overexposed to external stimuli and carry numerous questions. How can their energy be channeled in the right way. As parents handle one or two kids. But teachers handle atleast 20 or more in class. Definitely the number per class is not lesser than that. An amazing portrayal of what I mean here in the picture. A teacher is like a DJ for learning.. 1. Shifts what matters from everything else. 2. Creates the ...

  Loved this - No one can see his reflection in running water. It's only still water that we can see. Such an insightful analogy, and also profound.  Pause and give it a thought. How fundamental it is to approach any situation with a calm mind to see a clear picture. At most times the storm is within the individual. A series of thoughts blocking the mind. Choose to let them obstruct your path and they will. Vis-a-vis choose to clear the mind from running negative images. Let settle in positivity by challenging the limiting beliefs.  A coach can help in this regard. Be it relationship, finance, career, role change, learning challenges or any such aspect.  Only if a person approaches his world with calm, he will be able to see his reflection of thoughts objectively.  How calm are the waters in your mind at most times? Do you see your reflection clearly? 

  In continuation to the story of the manager who understands how bogged down Seema is with her work and personal commitments, yet fails to put some empathy to action. The manager had decided to actually get another person who would do all the tasks which Seema was supposed to do. This new person, as per the manger would do a better job than Seema.  So was the manager planning to replace Seema? Not really.. But the other side to the coin was perish.. Seema would see the other person doing much better and getting all the praises and eventually leave the job as she would be looking at her own inefficiency. This was the subtle idea the manager had. Although overtly, the manager would never ask her to go.  They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Seema had been long thinking that she deserved a better boss, and so did the manager think of Seema as an employee. But they never thought of actually resolving thier mutual differences, understanding each other and lo...

 Yes, you read it right. It's not enough to know what you don't know. That is Conscious Incompetence.  You know you are not good at something and you are aware that you don't know a skill. So act upon it. As per NLP, every human can learn any skill and grab any knowledge he requires at any age . Many times as a coach I face a situation that there are people who are very well aware of what they are not knowing and lacking in their career. But surprisingly, it does your brother them even. So many a times as a coach I face the situation where people come complaining that they have lost out on a promotion or they have not progress on their job as they were desiring but when asked about their efforts, it clearly shows that they have not putting those efforts which are required. It is not just enough to know that you are not having those skills. You are not even ready to put in the efforts required; that you sit with a coach or a mentor or a senior manager and try and understand...

  There are different therapies available for various issues in today's times. For example, there are many alternative methods of curing various issues like EFT, NLP, law of attraction and many others that work on the subconscious mind. Alternative therapies have become even more popular than regular medical aid. Famous comedian, actor and foodie, Kunal Vijaykar lost 20 kgs through an alternative method of enhancing his subconscious mind. (https://m.timesofindia.com/life-style/health-fitness/weight-loss/indias-biggest-foodie-kunal-vijayakar-loses-20-kgs-by-enhancing-his-subconscious-brain-read-more/amp_articleshow/90595878.cms) Another video that caught my attention is how thousands of people are using hypnosis as a medium to lose massive amount of weight. This woman in the video just talks to the audiance in a closed hall for hours. After attending her program they start losing weight. Sharing the link here for viewing (https://youtu.be/Bftxx-WXSgA) Similarly, most diseases doc...