Understanding Human Psychology

  In the pursuit of success, the journey is often marked by persistent efforts and unwavering determination. While the significance of hard work cannot be understated, it is essential to recognize that success is ultimately measured by its outcome. Efforts, no matter how dedicated, find their true value when they manifest into tangible results. Success is not merely a product of laborious toil but a reflection of the goals achieved, milestones crossed, and objectives realized. The outcome becomes the yardstick against which success is gauged. Consider a business venture – the countless hours spent strategizing, planning, and executing are truly valuable when the venture flourishes, attaining profitability and market recognition. Similarly, in personal endeavors, be it academics, sports, or any creative pursuit, the true measure of success lies in the end result. This perspective doesn't diminish the importance of efforts; instead, it emphasizes the dynamic relationship between effo...

Today I'ed like to talk about 'The Invaluable Lessons of Necessity: A Teacher Beyond Compare' In the journey of life, necessity often emerges as a compelling teacher, guiding us through challenges and imparting lessons that transcend conventional learning environments. It is through necessity that we often find ourselves pushed to acquire new skills, innovate, and rise above our perceived limitations. In this blog, we will explore the profound impact of necessity as a teacher, drawing insights from personal experiences in navigating the realms of professional growth, creative pursuits, and academic endeavors. Embracing Change at the Workplace One of the most common arenas where necessity acts as a transformative teacher is the workplace. When faced with the need to adapt to new technologies or software, individuals are often thrust into a realm of discomfort that demands quick learning and application. Take, for instance, the experience of learning a new software at the off...

  Once upon the time there was a huge oak tree which stood proudly on the banks of a river in the forest. At the foot of the oak there grew many reeds . They often spoke to each other about how different life is for them. The oak said he could view far and have a 360 degree view of the surroundings.  He seemed very proud of his height and slender self. The reeds listened silenty and also at times advised the oak to look at the ground to know what is happening right where they are growing. The oak refused to look down and bow down. He said flexibility is not my nature.  Just then, the winds turned vicious, the soil started to loosen, crazy winds took over. The oak tree, sticking to its nature, did not flex and uprooted. While the reeds bowed, flexed and stuck to the soil, they survived the storm.  Times demand us to be flexible, bow down when we know we can't stand tall, and take alternate routes when required. If we don't budge stating it's our nature, then the loss ...

  A raven once looked at a swan and got quite jealous of the beauty of the swan. The pure white feathers, the slender long neck, the delicate manner in which the swan would float around in his pond. The raven thought to himself 'I wish I could be the swan.' He got an idea that he would swim in the same pond all day and may be he also would get the snow white colour of the swan. He jumped into the pond and fluttered there all day.  His natural instinct didn't like swimming, but he was waiting for his feathers to start changing colour. He got another idea, to change the way he looked he thought let me eat what the swan eats from the river. Again his body seemed to reject what he was eating, yet the raven persists and put his efforts all day. As the water and weeds did not agree to his natural body type he grew thinner and weaker by the evening. He then asked the swan, how did u manage to get so beautiful and white? The swan said, I was born this way. What's the moral of t...

 Recently my child has developed a new interest in solving puzzle pieces. The colourful pieces attract her to mix and match the pieces and put the picture together. After she made one small one, I clapped and rejoiced with her. Then she took to making another. After a few pieces, she got tired and broke the whole thing. The look on her face told me she found it difficult and got irritated to try anymore. I said "Hmm Making and breaking the puzzle? Why you started in the first place anyway? Come on think about how exciting it is to learn something new and be able to finally achieve it." And then I said to myself, "The recognition, feeling of achievement, what was that motivation which brought you till there before you even think of giving up on anything, think through, why are you even here?" At times life is keeping you over occupied with all aspects. It is natural to feel too stressed while managing so much. However, when you think of giving up, just find a light ...

  A farmer planted seeds on his farm and rested for the rain to fall and seeds to flourish into crops. Two seeds started talking. One said I feel so lazy, I do not want to grow up so soon. Growing up is so boring and even tedious to do. I think I will rest in the soil for a while.  The second seed which was buried deep already felt the urge to grow. He said I am waiting for the rain to fall and it is my duty to flourish and bloom into a beautiful plant. That is what my life is for and I will do what I am supposed to do.  As time passed the seed that rested slept for days and months and the other one grew tall and green. One day the farmers dog was playing on the farm and since the spot where the sleeping seed lay was open and barren, he dug it up. The seed was unearthed. The farmer's hen came pecking there and ate the seed. That was the end of a life not well spent.  Learning has to be continuous to be impactful. It cannot be a one off time of training or reading som...

I noticed many congratulations messages and hearts on my 100th blog post. I got few comments in my inbox asking me about how I get time to do this and it is really something to be dedicated to. This blog I would want to state that nothing comes easy and nor does it come early. Any success is hardwork and perseverance. But more than anything else I want to stress upon how not to procrastinate. I got people telling me that they also have a lot of ideas but have not put them in an article or blog or else they would also have many online followers. I say its simple, procrastination hits us all. It is a disease and we need to fight it. We can simply remove 2 mins a day to start with and scribble our thoughts, we can continue to do so till all of it is out there and then reframe the sentences and rearrange out ideas to bring out the best version of the article.  Can't we all get that time for ourselves? And hence consistency comes into picture. We may not have it on the priority list as ...

  Have you heard of the story of the elephant in chains? Yes, to tame the giant, when they are young and not strong, they are tied to a pole or a tree using ropes or chains. They are not strong enough to break themselves free at that time. As time passes by they consider it a given that they will be tied to the pole forever. Even with full strength in their bodies, they fail to apply it as they have accepted their life tied to the pole. Another story we have often heard is of the boiling frog. A frog is kept in water and kept to boil. The frog initially is very comfortable. Till the water is warm it feels like this is the ideal temperature. At one point the frog starts feeling hot, but does not still want to jump out as earlier he did not do it. After a certain temperature, the water is boiling and the frog is unable to act, so it boils to death. The other day I saw a truck full of chickens outside a chicken shop. As the man was pulling out the chickens and handing them to the shop...

  Read this beautiful story about two zebras who were crossing a river while wandering the forest. They were bets of friends and were enjoying the tranquility of the moment. They both broke from the main herd of zebras and choose to seek enlightenment. While they were wadding through, a lion jumped from the bushes and asked for help to cross the river. He said that he was frightened of the water and wanted to be carried across. One of the zebras readily agreed, while the other seemed disturbed on that offer by his friend. After crossing the river and exchanging good byes, they walked their way in the forest. One of the zebras who ho carried the lion asked the other what happened, what causes you to be so worried? The other zebra asked why did u allow the lion to climb your back, he could have eated us. We would have been dead. Are you insane? The other zebra calmly replied  “Brother, this happened many many miles back, it was I who carried the lion on my back and it was I who ...

  I recently read about a boy in Delhi metro wiping the floor clean after he accidentally dropped food from his tiffin. When he could have easily taken a route of ignoring what had happened and keeping himself clean, he instead chose to be hands on and take responsibility.  In another post I read about a young teen boy who offered a girl his jacket to tie around the waist oon the way back home in the school bus. That's because the girl got her periods and had stained her dress. The girl very reluctantly took the jacket, only when the boy told her that I too have a mother and sister and I know what problems they face. Here the boy could have chosen to ignore, but instead he chose to be responsible for protecting the modesty of his friend. I was reading about accountability as a very valued aspect of how one approaches that work and how it is perceived by others around as an amazing quality one has. By displaying accountability for what is happening around one can win hearts and...

 Are you relevant to the current times? Keeping pace with the tide is vital to be relevant. Relevance is doing what keeps you up in your game of life. What does it take to stay relevant in today's world? I asked many of my friends and colleagues, what does it mean for you to stay relevant and what do you need to do to stay relevant? Since I am in the training and coaching field, I got answers from individuals of the same cohort. They stated that for them relevance means know what is latest in your area of expertise, gaining mastery over skills and behaviours of your type of job. For being relevant, usually we upgrade our knowledge, learn new skills and inculcate behaviours which clearly push your growth trajectory.  But staying relevant also means shedding old notions, letting go off what does not work for you anymore. Staying relevant means making way for the new, giving up unhealthy and unresourceful ideas and beliefs. Like a snake sheds his skin, and birds shed their old fe...

  It's not about how far you've gone, it just that you have moved forward. As winter approaches and the weather turns cold, snow and pine trees make their place with joy. Yes joy, there is so much of it around if you look for it. If you don't believe my words, just reflect on your life. It's just something new to look forward to at the end of the year. Many things slow down with the changing weather. We begin to focus on our family and close ones, who have brought so much to us throughout the year.  Think about the person who is most important to you in life, how has the person impacted you in this year? Think about those who raised this person with the values you admire him or her to have.  Think about that teacher you had in school or college, who made you disciplined and smart enough to face the world. Think about the mentor at your workplace, who helps you face your work challenges day in and out. Think about the coach who has been a sounding board for you and absor...

 Priya was a life coach, she would coach hundreds of stressed individuals and help them sort their lives. Think of life in a simplified way and gain a fresh perspective. However she would often hear from others about how strong a coach would be and would never need any external venting to feel better in any situation. The common words of others would be 'You must be so sorted yourself, as you understand human psychology and who will behave in what way, at what time.' When people look at the life of a councellor or a coach, many a times I have heard them say in awe. Wow your life must be so sorted. There must be just no issue that is worrying you. You must be always taking the right decisions. You must be always thinking objectively. Nothing can deter a person who is so positive. The likes of all of this and more, is a common understanding of many individuals who come in contact with a counselor or even with a life coach.  The truth is how vulnerable we all are as human beings....

  It was pooja at home. It was Shalini's wish that her daughter and her son in law came in and sit for the rituals since they were in town. It would also be their first pooja after their marriage. However her daughter refused. She said ''mom I don't really think it matters. I am tired. It is a Sunday and I want to rest as in the entire week I will not get rest and the pooja really does not matter much to me. Please pray to the lord Ganesha from my end." If you were in Shalini's shoes now, how would you feel? Shalini was really upset that why her daughter who was brought up in a particular way, thought in this fashion that was asynchronous to her thoughts. What made her actually say those words that the pooja didn't really matter? It was upsetting for Shalini, and she could not really do any much but remain in the same thoughts over and over. Bringing the same thoughts again and again, the entire day the result was the entire day was spent in ruminating of w...

 It is often felt that children are difficult to handle, we require a lot of patience with them. But I guess it's not just children, it is even adults at times. Adults also find it difficult to understand your point at times and rebel. What can you do with them? They are also vulnerable at so many times. Are they different than children to deal with at such times? At times being available for them is all what they need you to be. Just be there for them and things will change when they work on it themselves. Let me tell you what I am trying to say using a beautiful story. One day there was a sage who lived in the thick forest. A 20 year old boy who lived in the nearby habitat, came across the sage. He was mesmerized by the aura the sage carried and instantly decided to have the sage as his master. The boy often would come to the forest and meet his master, exchange ideas and discuss on life and would go back to his home.  One such day he came to the forest in search of his mate...

  Teachers have profound impact on the minds of the young and the older. There is no age for learning. You can be a student all your life. However, few have the geniune interest for studying and applying it to real life. It's not about ability. As ability can be there or developed if there is a will. For those who do not have the passion, it takes a lot from the teacher to ignite it within the student.  But salute to the ones who shape minds, who make futures, who play the mentor and guide to bring learners out of limiting beliefs. Today's children are bubbling with energy, overexposed to external stimuli and carry numerous questions. How can their energy be channeled in the right way. As parents handle one or two kids. But teachers handle atleast 20 or more in class. Definitely the number per class is not lesser than that. An amazing portrayal of what I mean here in the picture. A teacher is like a DJ for learning.. 1. Shifts what matters from everything else. 2. Creates the ...

Over the years I've become certain of how opinionated people are. As a child when your beliefs are formed, that's when I came across people in my society talking about the right games for children to play, the right clothes to wear, the proper time to step out of the house to play, the right set of people to mix around with. Standards of decency, fashion, being a good child, and gender-specific behaviors, like all, are defined in the unwritten, yet so tightly held and adhered to law book by society.  This law book is carried by children well into adulthood and throughout life as opinions of others turn into beliefs that strengthen to become accepted ways of life.  Are these ways of life and beliefs all dysfunctional? Nope, I'm not trying to say that here. All I want is to show the world, as a mind coach, that we all, including you and me, will hold at any point in time both rational and irrational beliefs. They influence our patterns of behavior at all times. They predict h...

I sat in the auto and put my lunch bag to my right and my laptop bag to my left. And the very next minute felt a bit uncomfortable as I reached out with my left hand to open the chain of my laptop bag to fetch my ear pods. Why? To my left hand this action felt alien as usually my bags are kept the other way round and my right hand goes into the laptop bag zipper to reach the ear pods. Sounds simple.. try it yourself and see how this small change makes you feel conscious and pull your attention to a task which you did almost monotonous.  I was attending a training recently where we spoke on patterns of behaviour, exiting comfort zones and rewiring our minds. Is this also rewiring? I wonder! While I brush with my dominant hand, i tried using my left hand one day and I was again feeling that I'm paying extra attention to that action and actually building a different neural pathway for the same activity. NLP states that every individual can learn any skill if he wants to and that too a...

  This is the last part to the series of blog which I was writing related to competence. Here I will talk about unconscious incompetence. Well, as the name suggest, you are completely unaware about what are the knowledge, skills and abilities which are lacking in your portfolio to do a particular job well. This is a blind area for the individual because the individual has never set, and thought about the same in his very busy schedule.  The very basic requirement which he will need to know to fulfill a particular task and even conduct a job search for self. I've met coachees who are very difficult because they are at the basic level of understanding of their KSAs and completely in their own world. They may not even realise that I am not knowing this skill to go to the next level. Never explored the unknown and never planned to walk that path. To them, one day, when somebody points out to them about a particular competency they lack in, or about a particular competency which th...

We should have perspective to life , about how people behave, how things around us should be organised, how our behaviour should be in a given situation. But our perspective is our map of the world. It is our idea of how to live and navigate. As stated in NLP, map is not the territory. So long as our perspectives result in a positive and resourceful state, it seems to work well for us. But do all our perspectives lead to positivity and resourcefulness? We hold biases, negative attitudes, self limiting beliefs, upsetting thoughts in our minds, which are unresourceful. Although perspectives guide our everyday behaviour, but do we want to be guided in the negative and harmful direction? Not really. So by seeking coaching and counseling we can alter our perspectives and be accepting of the maps of other people. We can be more realistic of the objective surroundings and situations. One way you can do it yourself, is to question your ideas when you feel upset, or you feel that the worl...