Think Differently

 

It was pooja at home. It was Shalini's wish that her daughter and her son in law came in and sit for the rituals since they were in town. It would also be their first pooja after their marriage.

However her daughter refused. She said ''mom I don't really think it matters. I am tired. It is a Sunday and I want to rest as in the entire week I will not get rest and the pooja really does not matter much to me. Please pray to the lord Ganesha from my end."

If you were in Shalini's shoes now, how would you feel? Shalini was really upset that why her daughter who was brought up in a particular way, thought in this fashion that was asynchronous to her thoughts. What made her actually say those words that the pooja didn't really matter?

It was upsetting for Shalini, and she could not really do any much but remain in the same thoughts over and over. Bringing the same thoughts again and again, the entire day the result was the entire day was spent in ruminating of where she went wrong in her teachings as a mother. 

In the evening she went to meet her society friend. After sometime her friend noticed that she was unhappy. She asked her why she seemed upset on the day of big Ganesh pooja. 

Shalini immediately spoke about her woes about her daughter not compelling to her wish. It was a very significant event which was not acknowledged by her daughter.

Her friend immediately told her that, children change, they live the life of their dreams. They build their own ways of how they want to live their life. Guess we must let it be and not force them to conduct any ritual against their wish. Also do not be upset and accept the fact that your child thinks differently, and respect it, so long as she does not disrespect what you are following.  

Hearing this was all what probably the Shalini needed at that time. It kind of caused the mental shift in her. Her map of the world was her own and was not what her daughter had. And remember map is not the territory.

At times you have a particular map of the world and you need to also respect that others have their own maps. They will want to view the world from their map and use their map because it's operational. So long as the maps are resourceful, you don't need to attempt to change them.

The only case where the map or perception is causing trouble behaviour, is when you need to influence the other persons map. Probably the words of the friend made Shalini feel that it was not the same little girl home who would follow everything what her mother says, but a grown up leading a life on her own terms. The realisation itself brought much peace to the her.