Feedback is Uncomfortable

 

After Riya got flak from her boss Raj for her negligence at work and in fact going ahead and hiding that till asked about it. What do you think Riya felt? And what do you think changed in her behaviour after that incident? She instantly felt demotivated. She decided not to go back and ask him anything related to work also. She started staying aloof and bad mouthing the organisation and it's culture to others, even at work.

Feeling anxious, worried, not comfortable to confront are common feelings while we need to go ahead get feedback and ask for feedback. Not seeking feedback does not only deprive you of learning opportunities, but also keeps you away from a much needed insight, especially in form of a constructive feedback. Additionally the eagerness to receive feedback can have a positive impact on the way your seniors perceive you. Many employees are either fearful to ask for feedback or do not know how to initiate the conversation with their seniors or peers in their team.

Usually reactions which are like lashing out are a projection of your inner demons, past condesending experiences to your present life. Emotions are not the problem, the actions that we take when we feel those emotions are the problem. Only if we take the time to think through and get an hold on the discomfort and give meaning to our feelings. We need to know and believe what constructive feedback can do to us, and it will help us take a step back, rather than acting in a fit of the moment.

Yes feedback is uncomfortable, but it is necessary discomfort.  It's ok to feel emotions and be aware of them. It's part of the process of living. Being strong does not connote that you cannot show your emotions in the right manner. We have a societal programming about what emotions are good or bad to be felt. We feel shame in processing emotions which are negative.

Allow yourself to process the emotions and don't lie to yourself that you don't feel what you do. Get that mental shift and you will be more accepting of yourself.