The Waves are Not the Ocean

 

As a coach, I've encountered numerous individuals struggling with self-doubt and negative self-perception. Recently, a coachee asked a poignant question: "Do bad thoughts make me a bad person?" My response was simple yet profound: "The waves are not the ocean."

At first, the coachee was taken aback, responding with a thoughtful "huh." This moment of realization was a turning point in our session. The metaphor struck a chord, allowing them to see their thoughts and emotions in a new light.

Just as the ocean is vast and deep, encompassing both calm and turbulent waters, our minds are complex and multifaceted. The waves on the surface represent our thoughts and emotions, ever-changing and sometimes turbulent. However, they do not define the entirety of the ocean. Similarly, our thoughts and emotions do not define our true nature.

This metaphor helped my coachee understand that their negative thoughts and emotions were mere waves, not a reflection of their inherent worth. They began to see themselves as the ocean – vast, resilient, and capable of depth and calm.

As coaches, our role is to guide individuals toward self-awareness and acceptance. By recognizing that our thoughts and emotions are fleeting and do not define us, we can cultivate a more compassionate and authentic relationship with ourselves. Remember, the waves are not the ocean – and you are more than your thoughts.

Gestalt says, The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.