Empathy is a Superpower

 Read a book 'The Silent Patient' recently as a part of my office book club. Sharing my takeaways as a psychologist, coach and parent to my 3 and half year old. 

It's so strange that broken people are fixing other broken people in this story. And i feel it's true in real life too. We come with our own traumas and yet try to gain balance by making sense of the here and now and focussing on how it should all be in our favour at least for the moment.

It came out very clearly in this story that defining moments of our life are ingrained in our childhood. Many of us are unfortunately not governed by us as we are vulnerable and weak to control life back then. By the time we understand and demensify life, we have already been scarred enough to have fall outs and face troubles. 

I started searching more about this topic on childhood memories, impact of parents's behaviours and good parenting on how people behave later in their life. Although the story was a fiction work, i felt I needed more understanding of this subject as I think many worries of life can be solved if kids are raised to be good adults, good humans with values and morals.

So in my search i stumbled upon another book 'The book you wish your parents had read'. This book also validated how we reflect our childhood in the way our adulthood shapes. This book in particular gives us tips and exercises on self reflection and introspection about our own childhood, while we are dealing with our children. At most times we are doing something with our child because we had been in a similar situation or may have been devoid of love and care at a particular time. It opens doors for me to think as an individual how i reflect my past in my present and i am building the future of my child. She will inturn carry that to her child one day.

Behaving sensitivity, with much empathy, giving ample love and security are basics. Attention is a given which shows how much we are available for our child. But sadly today's life makes it so difficult to spend time with our children. May be not the quantity, but the quality of the time spent will matter. Learning to be a better parent and a better individual is being more aware. Being empathetic with the opposite person is a major takeaway for me from both these books. You never know what the other person has been through, unless you really know. Empathy also starts with understanding the emotions our children go through, especially when we project our mood on them, our stress on their lives, our past on their present. 

It starts with reflection.At Times Broken People Are Fixing Broken Others. Yet the bottom line is Empathy is A Superpower.