Understanding Human Psychology

I recently had a coaching session where the coachee started with a clear request: "I want you to suggest what I should do about X, Y, and Z." They went on listing their concerns, looking at me expectantly. I smiled and gently reminded them, “As I mentioned before, coaching isn’t about giving suggestions. But I will be here with you to explore all these topics.” And so, we began. Through thoughtful questioning and open exploration, we unpacked each of their concerns. I watched as they reflected, dug deeper, and connected the dots in their own way. As the session unfolded, their energy shifted—from seeking advice to discovering their own insights. When we wrapped up, I asked, “What was the value of this session for you?” They took a moment and said, “It was an incredible session! I got so much clarity.” Smiling, I asked, “Did I suggest anything to you at any point?” They paused, then laughed, “Not at all. And yet, it worked like magic!” That moment—seeing the twinkle i...

It was 2018. I was in Bangalore, sitting in one of the city’s famous gardens, lost in thought. I had just been promoted and was on a business trip. My mind was occupied with plans, responsibilities, and the weight of my new role. But then, something unexpected happened—I heard the birds.   Of course, I had heard birds before. But that day, the chirping was different. It wasn’t just background noise; it was soothing, almost musical. Maybe I had never truly listened before. That moment stayed with me, and from that day forward, birds became a symbol of mindfulness for me.   Now, years later, I live in the heart of a bustling city, yet I am fortunate to have a home in a large society where nature still finds a way to thrive. Every morning, as I wake up and open my eyes, the first thing I hear is the symphony of birds outside my window when I wake up. It feels like they are orchestrating a melody. That is a gentle reminder to start the day with calmness and gratitude. It...

Critical thinking isn’t about rejecting authority or doubting everything—it’s about approaching information with a curious and open mind. The moment we start challenging our starting points, we open ourselves to growth, change, and new possibilities. I remember a coaching session where a client was frustrated with his team. He felt they weren’t proactive and constantly needed direction. “They just don’t take ownership,” he said. Instead of agreeing or offering a quick solution, I asked, “What assumptions are you making about their behavior?” At first, he was puzzled. But as we explored further, he realized he had assumed his team lacked initiative because they didn’t care. In reality, they were hesitant because they feared making mistakes. This shift in perspective changed everything. Instead of being frustrated, he saw an opportunity to create a safe space for his team to take risks and grow. Next time you feel stuck, ask yourself: What assumptions am I making here? You might be surpr...

If our assumptions can keep us trapped, how do we break free? The first step is simple yet powerful: question everything. In my previous post I discussed about how easily we succumb to believing an idea, especially from authority figures.  At most times simple ideas become ingrained and are carried with us for lives. As simple as there are ghosts in dark corners manifests in behaviours we show in adulthood. We also discussed about breaking free from assumptions and beliefs that are not serving help us release negativity and question ourselves the evidence and truth.  Here let's look at a few steps to get started: 1. Identify the Source – Where does this belief or assumption come from? Is it based on personal experience, societal norms, or something someone once told you? 2. Look for Contradictions – Have you ever seen evidence that challenges this belief? What counterexamples exist? 3. Test It in the Real World – What happens if you act as if the assumption isn’t true? Someti...

We don’t just accept assumptions in simple exercises like I had mentioned in my last post about assuming two circles are not identical when someone told us they are not, and then going the next step to pointing out which one is larger than the other. We also carry assumptions into our daily decisions, beliefs, and even lifelong perspectives. Many of the things we hold as absolute truths may simply be ideas we inherited from authority figures, cultural conditioning, or personal experiences that shaped our worldview.  As a coach, I often witness how deeply ingrained beliefs can keep people stuck. Some individuals believe they are “not leadership material” because they were once criticized early in their careers. Others assume that changing careers is “too risky” because they’ve been told stability is everything.  These beliefs are rarely questioned but have a profound impact on their choices, success, and fulfillment. If we can challenge the assumptions it would change our lives...

I recently came across a fascinating social experiment that perfectly illustrates how our minds work when performing a critical thinking task. In the experiment, a speaker presented two circles—one blue and one red—to an audience and asked them which was larger. He also added an intriguing statement: The circles are not identical. Then, he asked the audience to vote—some believed the blue circle was larger, while others chose the red. After collecting their responses, he revealed the truth: the circles were 'identical in size' all along.  The experiment wasn’t about optical illusions; it was about perception and influence. By merely stating that the circles were different, the speaker planted a seed of doubt. The audience, trusting the authority on stage, let their minds work based on this assumption, even though their own eyes could have told them otherwise. This experiment highlights a crucial question: How often do we challenge the very starting point of our thinking?  

  In coaching, I’ve seen the Dead Horse Theory manifest in people’s lives—when they hold onto relationships, career paths, or personal goals that are clearly not serving them. Instead of accepting reality, they keep searching for ways to ‘fix’ things, hoping to make the unworkable work. I once coached a client who was holding onto a leadership role that was draining him. Despite constant stress, a lack of fulfillment, and growing frustration, he kept trying to adjust—changing his leadership style, taking on new projects, even working with different teams. But deep down, he already knew the truth: the role was not a good fit. It was only when he finally acknowledged this that new opportunities emerged. He transitioned into a different project that aligned with his strengths and passions, instead of struggling everyday to grapple with things. The relief and clarity he experienced proved that sometimes, the best decision is to stop trying to revive the dead horse and instead, find a n...

  Have you ever seen a failing project that just won’t be shut down? Instead of moving on, companies pour in more resources, change leadership, or alter strategies—while ignoring the simple truth: the horse is dead. This is the essence of the Dead Horse Theory, which highlights how organizations struggle to let go of failing initiatives. We encounter Corporate Dead Horses when persistence turns into stagnation. In the business world, failed projects often continue well past their prime because of sunk costs, emotional attachment, or the reluctance to admit failure. Instead of acknowledging reality, organizations might try to fix it by changing their ways of working. - Assign a new project manager. - Change the strategy or methodology. - Increase the budget. - Conduct endless meetings to “find a solution.” I once worked with a company that was inducting it's new employes by showing age old videos of how the organisation grew over years. The management felt a sense of pride to share ...

When I first received an email from a senior stakeholder about a task I had to deliver, my immediate reaction was overwhelm. The scope seemed too vast, the expectations too high, and I found myself questioning—had I committed too much? Doubts crept in, and the weight of the responsibility felt heavier by the minute.   At first, I kept overthinking, trying to solve everything in my head. But when I finally sat down with my team and discussed the task, something shifted. As we broke the problem down together, the path forward became clearer. What initially seemed complicated now had a structure, and I could see exactly how to approach it.   By the time the meeting happened, I was prepared. And to my surprise, everything went smoothly. The very thing I was overthinking had now turned into a well-managed discussion. Looking back, I realized that stepping back and seeking support was the key.   We often believe we must figure everything out on our own, but that’...

Some days feel like a whirlwind—back-to-back meetings, endless emails, and barely a moment to breathe. I was having one of those days, too busy even to grab a proper lunch. As people passed by, waving politely, I stayed put, resigned to yet another meal replaced by tea or hot water.   But then, something changed. A colleague walked in, saw me buried in work, and instead of just acknowledging my exhaustion, she did something unexpected. She insisted that I eat, she took my food, heated it up, and placed it in front of me. “Eat,” she said, giving me those ten minutes I wouldn’t have taken for myself.   It was such a simple act, yet it meant everything. In a world where we often assume that people will manage on their own, she reminded me how powerful it is to have someone by your side. Small gestures—a warm meal, a kind word, a thoughtful act—can make a difference in ways we don’t always realize.   That day, I learned something important: You don’t have to ma...