Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

 

In coaching, I’ve seen the Dead Horse Theory manifest in people’s lives—when they hold onto relationships, career paths, or personal goals that are clearly not serving them. Instead of accepting reality, they keep searching for ways to ‘fix’ things, hoping to make the unworkable work.

I once coached a client who was holding onto a leadership role that was draining him. Despite constant stress, a lack of fulfillment, and growing frustration, he kept trying to adjust—changing his leadership style, taking on new projects, even working with different teams. But deep down, he already knew the truth: the role was not a good fit.

It was only when he finally acknowledged this that new opportunities emerged. He transitioned into a different project that aligned with his strengths and passions, instead of struggling everyday to grapple with things. The relief and clarity he experienced proved that sometimes, the best decision is to stop trying to revive the dead horse and instead, find a new path.

Why People Resist Letting Go

- Fear of failure: Admitting something isn’t working can feel like personal failure.

- Hope for change: People convince themselves that one more effort will fix things.

- Emotional attachment: Letting go means saying goodbye to something familiar.

Coaching Questions to Overcome the Dead Horse Mentality

- What is keeping you from letting go?

- What would happen if you stopped trying to fix this?

- If you were advising a friend in your situation, what would you tell them?

Sometimes, the bravest choice is not to persist but to accept, release, and move forward. After all, real growth happens when we stop dragging the past into our future.