Understanding Human Psychology

  I recently started reading How Women Rise by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith, and the first chapter struck a deep chord. It talked about how women often feel guilty or ashamed of their ambition. That line hit home for me. There were times I questioned myself: Am I being too ambitious for my age? For the stage of life I’m in? For the background, I come from? Maybe you’ve had those thoughts too — shaped by subtle messages from family, culture, or society. Sometimes not even told outright, just picked up like background noise growing up. But here's what I’ve learned — ambition is not arrogance. It's a dream in motion. The world’s most impactful leaders — women and men — weren’t apologetic about dreaming big. They rose because they dared to see beyond what existed. I'm thankful to my family and especially my husband, who saw my spark and never tried to dim it. That support has meant everything. But I also believe even without it, ambition should still be honoured, nur...

 Parenting, I’ve realized, is less about teaching and more about learning. In the early days, I would get so worked up watching my daughter mix all her paint colours into a brownish mush, splattering it across the paper—and sometimes, her face and hands. I would cringe at the mess, the stained clothes, the stickiness of it all. “Why can’t she just stick to the colouring book?” I’d ask myself. But one day, something shifted. I watched her dip her fingers into the red, then yellow, then blue. She wasn’t just painting—she was exploring . She was learning how red turns orange, how paint feels on skin, how colours mix to create new ones. It was all sensory play: touch, sight, even smell. It was art. It was science. It was joy. And I was the one who was missing the point. She wasn’t making a mess—she was making meaning. From that day on, I began to pause before reacting. I began to see her world, not through my lens of order, but through hers of discovery. I learned to breathe, smile, an...

  Have you ever felt guilty for sleeping in on a holiday because your child’s breakfast wasn’t ready? Or skipped your workout because you had to pack a lunchbox—even when you knew leftovers were just fine? What about the guilt of choosing silence for yourself over small talk, or taking a long bath while someone else waits for dinner? We tell ourselves stories: “How can I?” “What kind of mother/partner/child would do that?” But these stories, while noble on the surface, often hide deep-rooted self-sabotage. Coaching conversations have shown me how often people hesitate to “put on their own oxygen mask first.” And yet, how can you help others breathe if you’re gasping for air yourself? Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a life skill. It’s a leadership act. It’s a parenting practice. And more than anything—it’s your right. It takes confidence to say, “I deserve a moment.” But confidence is exactly what you get when you allow yourself that moment. What’s one “guilt-driven” act you could re...

  In coaching, one of the most powerful things we can do is honour the client’s metaphor—not just hear it, but hold space within it. Recently, I was speaking with a coachee who had made steady progress toward a personal goal. As we reflected on the journey, I asked, “What would you want to do to speed up the process?” He replied, “I wouldn’t want to speed it up. This is the optimal speed. I want to be cautious. I want to ride the boat at a speed that doesn’t make me topple.” And just like that, the metaphor emerged: the boat . As we sailed further into the conversation, he continued to build on this imagery. He spoke about milestones as islands he passed. He described how with each step, he added new tools, skills, and responsibilities to his boat. That session stayed deeply rooted in his metaphor—and it felt natural, intuitive, and authentic. When a client presents a metaphor, it’s a portal into their inner landscape. They are choosing a symbol that feels safe and familiar. When w...

  Coaching is not about giving solutions; it’s about entering the client’s world and seeing it through their eyes. One of the simplest, most beautiful ways to do this is through metaphors. In a recent coaching session, I was using the Wheel of Life tool and asked the coachee, “Which area of your life, if improved, would create a ripple effect on all the others?” He paused, thought for a moment, and then said, “If I get this one area sorted, it’s like a key piece of my Tetris. When that piece falls into place, everything else starts aligning.” That Tetris metaphor wasn’t just a casual line—it was a doorway. For the rest of the session, I used his metaphor: “So what’s blocking that piece?” “What would it feel like when it fits?” “What’s your next move in this game?” The energy shifted. He was more engaged, more reflective, and felt seen. That’s the power of using their language, their imagery. Metaphors aren’t decorative—they’re deeply personal. When a client shares one, it’s an in...

  After sharing my story of feeling like a fish in a pond during my maternity break, I realised how powerful metaphors are—not just in storytelling, but in coaching and everyday conversations. So often, people speak in metaphors without even realising it. “I feel like I’m sailing through a storm.” “This relationship is sunshine for me.” “When she enters the room, it feels like the air smells sweeter.” These aren’t just poetic expressions. They’re glimpses into someone’s emotional world. In coaching, I’ve noticed how easily these metaphors can go unnoticed. But for the person sharing them, these images are real. They hold emotional truth, and when acknowledged by a coach or a listener, they become powerful bridges to deeper connection and understanding. When someone says, “I feel stuck like I’m in quicksand,” don’t just nod and move on. Pause. Explore it. “Tell me more about the quicksand. What does it feel like? What helps you move through it?” That’s where the magic lies. The meta...

  Back in 2019, during my maternity break, I decided to join my team for an office retreat. My daughter was just five months old, and though motherhood had filled me with love, staying indoors day after day had begun to feel stifling. I missed the buzz of work, the energy of my team, and the small talk over chai. So, when the chance to attend the retreat came up, I took it. On the first day, our business leader asked each of us to pick an object around us—something that symbolically represented who we were at that moment. The responses were beautiful. One colleague said they were like a tree, grounded and nurturing. Another felt like the weather—sometimes sunny, sometimes stormy. Someone said they were a pen, full of ideas. Another felt like a blank page, open to new beginnings. When it was my turn, I chose something unexpected. I had been watching the little pond nearby, filled with colorful fishes trapped inside its stone walls. I said, “I feel like one of those fishes—alive, vib...

I was witnessing a group coaching session. Lots of surface-level chatter. Until the coach asked, "What are you pretending not to know?" Silence. Someone shifted. Another crossed their arms. Then one brave voice said, "That I hate my job but feel too guilty to leave." Boom. Vulnerability unlocked the room. Others followed. Stories poured out. Real talk began. That one question cracked open a safe space. It reminded me: the right question doesn’t provide an answer. It opens a door. What’s a question that changed you? I challenge you to think of a reflective question which will help change the readers' perspective. Write it in the comments. If you’re looking for powerful coaching questions, you’ll love these reads. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A go...

  My first real coaching session? Awkward. Uncomfortable. Mostly silent. I had all these questions prepared, ready to shine. But when we began, the client went silent. I panicked. My mind raced: Should I talk more? Fill the gap? Ask another question? But something told me to wait. To breathe. I sat with the silence. After what felt like a century, she finally spoke. Slowly. Thoughtfully. Her words revealed years of buried emotion. By the end of that session, she thanked me. Not for my brilliant questions. But for the space I held. That day, I learned one of the most powerful coaching lessons: silence isn’t awkward. It’s sacred. What’s one skill you learned only by doing? Write your answers in comments. Curious about how to listen deeply? These reads changed the way I hold space. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.   Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by H...

  There was a time I almost said no to the journey of becoming a coach. I was drowning in self-doubt—that annoying voice in your head that whispers, "Who are you to help someone else?" I remember standing outside the room where my first coach training session was about to begin. My hand hovered over the doorknob. I almost turned back. "You don't belong here," the voice insisted. Just then, someone behind me said, "You coming in? You look like you belong here." That sentence shifted something. I walked in. That day didn't erase my doubts, but it planted a new thought: Maybe I do belong . And with every session, every stumble, every "aha" moment since, I’ve learned this: the only thing standing between you and your future self is often just one step forward. Poll: What stopped you from pursuing something you truly wanted? a) Your inner critic b) External circumstances c) Past experiences d) All of the above I've also li...

  It’s a Double Century! Yes, this is my 200th blog. It feels surreal to even type that. It all began during the uncertain days of the COVID lockdown. When the world outside shut down, and the world inside felt equally unsettled. Work was reduced to Zoom calls, my PhD had hit pause indefinitely, and my 8-month-old daughter hadn't yet seen a garden or sunshine. Every day was filled with anxious news updates and stories of people holding on to life. In the midst of it all, I turned to writing. I searched YouTube to learn how to build a blog page and just… started. Since then, there's been no looking back. Sharing my thoughts has been healing, humbling, and joyful. Though friends and family appreciated my words, I often wondered— is someone else reading this on the other side of the world? Today, I look at my blog’s stats and smile—page views from different countries, posts that resonated. I feel deeply proud and grateful. Thank you, dear readers, for being part of this jour...

I’ve been asked, "Why do you still coach? Isn’t it hard holding space for others all the time?" Yes, it is. But it’s also the most fulfilling thing I do. I coach because of the light in someone’s eyes when they reconnect with their purpose. Because someone says, "No one's ever asked me that before." Because transformation isn’t a big bang. It’s a whisper that grows. I coach because every story shared is sacred. And I still believe in the magic of human change. What keeps you committed to your path?  a) The idea that it changes / impacts lives b) The recognition it brings  c) The freedom of expression/thought To all the coaches, leaders, and lifelong learners—here’s a curated list of books that keep me inspired. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A gold standard in coachi...

  It wasn’t a coaching session. We were just two friends catching up. She was venting about work, unsure whether to quit. I listened, then asked: "What would staying cost you emotionally?" Her eyes welled up. "Everything," she whispered. That question wasn’t planned. It came from being fully present. We talked for another hour. She didn’t quit right away, but she made changes. Big ones. Sometimes, coaching happens outside the frame of a session. It slips into coffee chats, dinner tables, and quiet walks. It's about presence, not permission. Where have you accidentally coached someone? Comment and share. For anyone who believes conversations can change lives, these books are for you. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A gold standard in coaching, this bo...

Coaching often mirrors back the truths we hide from ourselves. In one session, a client struggled with setting boundaries. As I guided her through some reflections, I felt a strange discomfort rise in me. It hit me later: I wasn’t walking the talk. I was overcommitting. Afraid to say no. Her struggle was my own. That day, I journaled. I set my own boundaries. Coaching her helped me coach myself. That’s the quiet magic of this work—it transforms both people in the conversation. Do you believe helping others helps you grow too? When did that happen for you? Share in the comments. If you're on your own self-awareness journey, these books are great companions. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟  1. "Co-Active Coaching" by Henry Kimsey-House et al. A gold standard in coaching, this book teaches how to empower clients by balancing ...

  "I don't need a coach. I need someone who gets it." That was how the session started. I froze. My instinct was to prove myself, show her I did get it. But instead, I asked, "Tell me what 'getting it' looks like for you." She opened up. Slowly, she shared stories laced with frustration, disappointment, and hope. As she spoke, I realized coaching isn’t about having all the answers. It's about holding the questions gently and listening hard. That client changed me. She made me rethink what it means to 'get it'. To stop trying to fix and start being fully present. That’s when the real work begins. When was the last time someone truly 'got you'? Share your expereinces in the comments Want to explore deep listening and presence? Here are some books that helped me. Check them out here. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Go to Books for Coaching 🌟 ...