Understanding Human Psychology

 I  was having a conversation with someone who admitted, “I procrastinate. I just don’t take action.” They told me they wait for the right time—the time when they can dedicate hours to a task and complete it in one go. If they don’t have enough time, they’d rather not start at all. I asked them, “But what happens when life puts a full platter in front of you? You can’t eat it all at once, right?” That made them pause. “Then what would you do?” I continued. “Wouldn’t it be better to take one bite at a time?” That’s the key—just begin. Start small and digest it piece by piece. Change your surroundings one step at a time. Tackle a project by breaking it into sections. If you want to build a habit, start with five minutes a day instead of waiting for the perfect schedule. I could see the shift in their perspective. The weight of the task wasn’t the problem—it was the mindset of all-or-nothing. Taking smaller steps makes any challenge feel manageable. By the end of our...

In coaching conversations, I often see clients caught in the same struggles for months, sometimes even years. When I ask, “Why didn’t you reach out earlier?” the answers vary—fear, uncertainty, or simply the hope that things would get better on their own. But the reality is, by choosing not to act, they were still making a choice. I’ve seen this happen when coachees hesitate to seek help from their coach or manager. They had opportunities to address their challenges, yet they stayed silent. Now, when their performance is questioned, they feel stuck—helpless, even. But the truth is, their inaction was a decision too. Often, people assume that avoiding a decision will keep them safe from discomfort or failure. But in reality, inaction has its own consequences. Delaying action only makes problems bigger, opportunities slip away, and confidence erode. The fear of making the wrong choice sometimes leads to no choice at all—but that in itself is a decision with lasting impact. Recog...

Any employer, no matter the industry, looks for two key qualities: the attitude to learn and the ability to develop expertise over time. You cannot rely on just one and expect to thrive. A learning attitude is not just for freshers—it’s equally critical for those advancing in their careers and even leaders at the top. The willingness to adapt, unlearn, and relearn is what keeps professionals relevant. However, having a great attitude alone isn’t enough. At some point, employers expect tangible results—proof that you’ve applied your learning to develop expertise. After all, what can a company do with someone who is eager but lacks the skills to execute? Likewise, expertise without a growth mindset leads to stagnation. Success lies in the balance: stay curious, keep learning, and master your craft. When you combine the right attitude with developed expertise, you don’t just grow—you become invaluable.

  There’s a saying in Hindi: “Har Sher ko ek Sava Sher milta hai,” meaning every lion meets one who is stronger. This phrase has stuck with me because I’ve witnessed its truth in real-life situations. It reminds me of the fine line between confidence and overconfidence. Confidence gives you the courage to tackle challenges, but overconfidence blinds you to realities. I’ve seen overconfident individuals make quick, miscalculated judgments, leading to avoidable mistakes. They underestimated the situation, believing their approach was infallible. What I’ve learned is this: approach every situation with humility and level-headedness. Confidence should be rooted in awareness—of your strengths, yes, but also of the complexities and unknowns. Staying grounded doesn’t make you less capable; it makes you wiser. After all, even the strongest lion must respect the strength of another. So, lead with confidence, but let humility guide your steps.

  In a recent coaching conversation, we delved into the topic of taking credit for one’s work. My coachee—a talented professional—was struggling with this. He often downplayed his contributions or framed his achievements as “something the team did together.” While collaboration is important, I could see that his hesitation to own his impact was holding him back. I asked him, “What are you hesitant about when it comes to taking credit for what you’ve accomplished? What are you afraid of?” After some reflection, he admitted that he didn’t want to come across as arrogant or overshadow his team. But we both knew that by avoiding acknowledgment, he was diluting his voice and value. Do not dilute your message by saying we just to show you are a team player. By the end of the session, he committed to one action: the next time he presented results, he would confidently own his role in driving them. In our follow-up session, his feedback was striking. This small change became a game...

It wasn’t always easy for me to say no. I used to agree to things like dinners with friends, extra tasks at work, just to avoid disappointing others, it even reflected similarly with personal life. But over time, I realized that constantly putting others first left me exhausted and disconnected from what mattered most to me. Learning to communicate boundaries didn’t come naturally, but as I’m learning it and have tried it, it changed everything. One of the hardest lessons was saying no to my friends. I remember a time when I’d be juggling work and family, yet still feel guilty for declining plans. I’d think, “What if they feel I don’t care?” But I learned that honesty is the foundation of any relationship. Saying, “I’d love to join, but I need to spend time with my family today. Let’s plan for another time,” made all the difference. My friends understood because I was clear and genuine. At work, the challenge was different. Admitting “I don’t know” used to feel like failure, as thou...

  They say we must stop sacrificing ourselves for others. Today’s youth seem to understand this well and often practice it effectively in their personal lives, especially with family. They confidently share their likes and dislikes, creating space for themselves. But at workplaces, it’s a different story. Many new joiners or early-career professionals struggle to set boundaries. Overwork is often glorified, sold as the fast track to success. While it might lead to quick promotions, the cost becomes clear over time—burnout. Once the steam runs out, they find themselves yearning for balance, for time to recharge, and for meaningful connections with family and friends. By the time they recognize this, setting boundaries feels daunting. How do you redefine expectations with colleagues or seniors who are accustomed to your over-availability? The process may feel awkward at first, but it’s essential to protect your well-being and sustain long-term success. 3 Practical Tips to Set H...

  Ever since I did the Positive Quotient (PQ) Program of Shirzad Chamine, with my supportive cohort members Antony, Nidhi, Kulshum, I am glad to say it has made me see life differently. And what’s that difference? I would take this space to explain that. For me, being a restless soul and a high achiever, which Shirzad says are two of the many saboteurs we carry within us, it is usually difficult to be without something or the other to do. That is, I need to be occupied, and I feel the need to be achieving results. That is good. But you may have also heard that anything of good in excess is also unhealthy. So coming back to how the PQ program made a difference. Earlier any time I would be sitting without doing anything, it would make my mind wander aimlessly, would then start making me think what can I do, can I read something, listen to something on my phone, put a podcast. My time use was on my mind. Of course! No doubt time is money, but so is health and sanity. I now realise tha...

  I’ve been asked many a times about this ever lasting curiosity I have to know new things, to learn, to keep writing my blogs. I’ve been asked about how I learn new courses, I study at an age where I should focus on my kid studying. When I did my PhD also, during the study and much after it, even today, I have been getting questions about what made me do it. What’s with this curiosity and thirst for knowledge! Yes I am a curious soul and I love to know new things in my sphere of knowledge. I think if one does not upgrade himself, the person’s brain rust. Simple: Education makes man more of a human, a a much better one than when he is not. My PhD topic, the Learning Organisation also means continual learning and not believing that learning is a destination or a goal. When you learn, you learn to open your mind to new ideas. You get to know what’s stored in other people’s brain. There is a sea of fresh data out there. I read it that Albert Einstein once said that the intuitive min...

  That’s so me at the end of the day. That is how the energy is. That is how any pending task feels. Its okay. I sense it’s the same for others. But does that mean that the day has not been full of meaning? Oh no. I love what I do. It tires me for good. And when I get tired, that means I have worked hard man! I’ve worked very hard to make my goals see the light of the day. Physically tired, but mentally proud is how I feel. Sleeping with that mindset brings me new hope to wake up and show up the next day too. So to all the folks who are low today, feel drained off their energy, feel like it’s a burden to do that one more, last task of the day. Its okay. It means you have done what should be done and it has tired you. It means that your mental and physical energies have been occupied productively. It means that you have done your bit in the waking hours of your day. You don’t deserve to beat yourself. You deserve to be proud.

  I’d be honest in stating I’m struggling. In what? In sorting the endless tasks, I have put up for myself in life, and the journey I have set out to have. I have my family, my work, my learning, my routine tasks and myself as an individual to attend to. I often get to hear from my coachee’s during a coaching conversation the similar struggle. And its but natural to feel overwhelmed. Its but natural to not feel at peace and calm when you have multiple things to attend to. A usual coaching conversation also states that at such times, they procrastinate, that is postponing tasks till the need to do it becomes dire. Isn’t that too so obvious. I mean when we are overwhelmed, we generally don’t know where to begin from. So just wait for the right time, right setting, right people to be with you, right support mechanism, right frame of mind. Just the ‘right’ of everything. Who knows when ‘right’ will come. But hope is there that it will. But then there is a catch, the moment which is ‘...

  Anxiety often feels like a vague cloud, hard to pinpoint but impossible to ignore. To work through it, the first step is identifying and naming the emotions hiding within it. Emotions are like signals—each one carries a message. Is the anxiety rooted in fear of failure, uncertainty, or the weight of unmet expectations? By pausing and asking, “What exactly am I feeling?” and describing it—tightness in the chest, a racing mind—you gain clarity. Naming emotions transforms them from overwhelming forces to manageable experiences, empowering you to address their cause and regain control over your inner world. True empowerment comes not from avoiding discomfort but from embracing its lessons.   Here’s a starting point with coaching questions around emotional exploration and emotional intelligence for growth. As an example I have called out a dialogue which would be possibly with anxiety as a emotion. A dialogue to explore this would look like: What emotion are you f...

  In my coaching practice, I encourage clients to explore their emotions with curiosity rather than judgment. When a challenging project triggers stress, we reflect on the root cause—is it fear of failure? Lack of clarity?—and what actions can transform that stress into constructive momentum.   Recognizing that emotions are guideposts builds emotional intelligence and resilience. The next time you feel discomfort, pause and ask yourself: What message does this emotion carry? When we learn to listen, even our hardest emotions become allies on the path to growth.   The Power of Recognizing Discomfort and being vulnerable in coaching sessions can create transformational shifts. Let me dive into this hypothetical example. James, a mid-level manager in a fast-paced tech company, felt increasingly frustrated with his team’s performance. Weekly meetings left him drained, and he was snapping at colleagues. In our coaching session, I asked, “What’s the dominant emotion in thos...

 Have you ever felt a pang of discomfort and wished it away, only to later realize that the very feeling was your greatest teacher? In coaching, we often talk about resilience, self-awareness, and emotional agility, but the first step is learning to embrace every emotion, including those that feel unpleasant.  The truth is: Not every emotion that feels bad is bad.   I was attending a coaching demonstration, during which I was asked to share my observations on what went well and what could be improved. The session was taken by an MCC coach where contracting and agreement was done wonderfully.   For the purpose of the demo, we stopped the session there. Yet by the end of the session, on being asked if I could do something differently what would that be, I ruminated over this. The client had a fair idea about her goal and the deep dive was done by the coach’s questions. However, the underlying emotions behind the transition which the client was experiencing, the anx...

  As the first few days of 2025 unfold, I paused to reflect and asked myself, “What has truly changed?” The answer came swiftly: it’s not just the date. A sense of joy and abundance has taken root in my heart, fueled by gratitude for the opportunities this year brings. Gratitude, I’ve found, is a powerful force—drawing more reasons to be thankful and savor life’s pleasures.   In past years, my New Year’s resolutions always revolved around learning new things. Curiosity would drive me to create lists of interests and identify sources to expand my knowledge. But 2024 was a year of intense learning, a whirlwind of new insights and growth. This year, I felt compelled to take a different approach.   Instead of chasing new knowledge, my reflections guided me toward *relearning and consolidating*. I realized that at this point in life, I’ve amassed a wealth of experience across industries and worked with people from diverse backgrounds. Human interaction has been at th...