The Wisdom of Emotions: When Feeling Bad Is Good for Growth

 Have you ever felt a pang of discomfort and wished it away, only to later realize that the very feeling was your greatest teacher? In coaching, we often talk about resilience, self-awareness, and emotional agility, but the first step is learning to embrace every emotion, including those that feel unpleasant. 

The truth is: Not every emotion that feels bad is bad. 

I was attending a coaching demonstration, during which I was asked to share my observations on what went well and what could be improved. The session was taken by an MCC coach where contracting and agreement was done wonderfully.  For the purpose of the demo, we stopped the session there. Yet by the end of the session, on being asked if I could do something differently what would that be, I ruminated over this. The client had a fair idea about her goal and the deep dive was done by the coach’s questions. However, the underlying emotions behind the transition which the client was experiencing, the anxiety, the fear of the unknown, the uncertainly of what to expect, were strong emotions which the client was showing beneath her answers to the coach’s reflective questions. I wonder if the coaching would have progressed, would those be explored too. I wonder on exploring those if layers would be pealed to get to a core. I wonder if that would leave the client feeling more complete at the end of the coaching session.

These thoughts are coming from a place of my recently acquired wisdom on emotions and emotional intelligence. On the topic of emotions, I was recently hooked on to a podcast where the speaker stated that all emotions serve a purpose and its very important to feel them, at that moment, they make you human. The speaker specifically called out about negative emotions, that we usually term them as bad, either think of suppressing them, or think of how to overcome them. But the speaker states ‘it feels bad, but it’s not necessarily bad for me. recognizing that every emotion serves a purpose.’

Every emotion, even discomfort, serves a purpose. Fear sharpens our instincts, signaling potential danger or highlighting areas where we need more preparation. Sadness slows us down, giving space for reflection, healing, and deeper connection with our values. Anger often flags boundaries being crossed or unmet needs. These feelings, though uncomfortable, are messengers guiding us toward personal growth. 

Consider this: What if we stopped labeling emotions as "good" or "bad" and instead asked, "What is this feeling trying to teach me?"