Understanding Human Psychology

  Have you ever felt guilty for sleeping in on a holiday because your child’s breakfast wasn’t ready? Or skipped your workout because you had to pack a lunchbox—even when you knew leftovers were just fine? What about the guilt of choosing silence for yourself over small talk, or taking a long bath while someone else waits for dinner? We tell ourselves stories: “How can I?” “What kind of mother/partner/child would do that?” But these stories, while noble on the surface, often hide deep-rooted self-sabotage. Coaching conversations have shown me how often people hesitate to “put on their own oxygen mask first.” And yet, how can you help others breathe if you’re gasping for air yourself? Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a life skill. It’s a leadership act. It’s a parenting practice. And more than anything—it’s your right. It takes confidence to say, “I deserve a moment.” But confidence is exactly what you get when you allow yourself that moment. What’s one “guilt-driven” act you could re...

  In coaching, one of the most powerful things we can do is honour the client’s metaphor—not just hear it, but hold space within it. Recently, I was speaking with a coachee who had made steady progress toward a personal goal. As we reflected on the journey, I asked, “What would you want to do to speed up the process?” He replied, “I wouldn’t want to speed it up. This is the optimal speed. I want to be cautious. I want to ride the boat at a speed that doesn’t make me topple.” And just like that, the metaphor emerged: the boat . As we sailed further into the conversation, he continued to build on this imagery. He spoke about milestones as islands he passed. He described how with each step, he added new tools, skills, and responsibilities to his boat. That session stayed deeply rooted in his metaphor—and it felt natural, intuitive, and authentic. When a client presents a metaphor, it’s a portal into their inner landscape. They are choosing a symbol that feels safe and familiar. When w...

  Coaching is not about giving solutions; it’s about entering the client’s world and seeing it through their eyes. One of the simplest, most beautiful ways to do this is through metaphors. In a recent coaching session, I was using the Wheel of Life tool and asked the coachee, “Which area of your life, if improved, would create a ripple effect on all the others?” He paused, thought for a moment, and then said, “If I get this one area sorted, it’s like a key piece of my Tetris. When that piece falls into place, everything else starts aligning.” That Tetris metaphor wasn’t just a casual line—it was a doorway. For the rest of the session, I used his metaphor: “So what’s blocking that piece?” “What would it feel like when it fits?” “What’s your next move in this game?” The energy shifted. He was more engaged, more reflective, and felt seen. That’s the power of using their language, their imagery. Metaphors aren’t decorative—they’re deeply personal. When a client shares one, it’s an in...

  After sharing my story of feeling like a fish in a pond during my maternity break, I realised how powerful metaphors are—not just in storytelling, but in coaching and everyday conversations. So often, people speak in metaphors without even realising it. “I feel like I’m sailing through a storm.” “This relationship is sunshine for me.” “When she enters the room, it feels like the air smells sweeter.” These aren’t just poetic expressions. They’re glimpses into someone’s emotional world. In coaching, I’ve noticed how easily these metaphors can go unnoticed. But for the person sharing them, these images are real. They hold emotional truth, and when acknowledged by a coach or a listener, they become powerful bridges to deeper connection and understanding. When someone says, “I feel stuck like I’m in quicksand,” don’t just nod and move on. Pause. Explore it. “Tell me more about the quicksand. What does it feel like? What helps you move through it?” That’s where the magic lies. The meta...

  Back in 2019, during my maternity break, I decided to join my team for an office retreat. My daughter was just five months old, and though motherhood had filled me with love, staying indoors day after day had begun to feel stifling. I missed the buzz of work, the energy of my team, and the small talk over chai. So, when the chance to attend the retreat came up, I took it. On the first day, our business leader asked each of us to pick an object around us—something that symbolically represented who we were at that moment. The responses were beautiful. One colleague said they were like a tree, grounded and nurturing. Another felt like the weather—sometimes sunny, sometimes stormy. Someone said they were a pen, full of ideas. Another felt like a blank page, open to new beginnings. When it was my turn, I chose something unexpected. I had been watching the little pond nearby, filled with colorful fishes trapped inside its stone walls. I said, “I feel like one of those fishes—alive, vib...