Giving a Psychological Meaning To Your Life Even In Times of Crisis

Search for Meaning of Life

 Ever blamed your professor for setting a tough exam that was difficult for you to crack. Ever blamed the change of climate for an illness? Ever blamed a friend for a fight you've had? If you have noticed well, in the above examples, it is an external cause which is attributed to a particular event to occur.

However, have we ever thought through the amount of effort we have put to pass the exam? Have we ever thought of our fitness and exercise before blaming the climate for an illness or about our own actions before blaming a friend for an argument? Even for the pandemic COVID 19, we all have reasoned our heads through and attributed it to China for birthing this virus into this world. But now, for some of these, you will rethink and say it is true, things were definitely out of your control in certain cases at least.

All of us, daily, in our heads, go through this process of reasoning and attribution of cause to either self or an external object which is a party to the event. But most of us as can be seen in the above examples feel an external factor is responsible for occurrences.

Well, when we do this process of reasoning and putting blame on an external object, that is our truth, the reality which we can see, or rather, want to see. But there is another part to the story. Just like we cannot clap with one hand and there are two sides to a coin, we must look at the part we played in the occurrence to happen also.

How conveniently we overlook our responsibilities towards self, others, and the environment. The more we factor the cause of an event to external objects, the more helpless and less in control we feel. Also, we are more likely to conform to social norms and pressures since we feel an external force is governing us and our circumstances. This is known as having an external locus of control. On the other hand, those who think through an event and attribute its cause to themselves, are, more in control of their lives and feel confident of changes their behaviors to change the outcomes. They are less likely to conform to social pressures. They are said to have an internal locus of control. Having said that, Locus of control is a psychological concept, that refers to how strongly people attribute a cause of an event or experience in their life to an internal cause (self), or an external object, person, event.

By now, it is pretty clear that having an internal locus of control is mentally healthy as compared to having an external locus of control. I believe, in our lifetime, we shift on the continuum of internal and external locus of control depending on the situation.

It's true, that there are many events in our lives that are way beyond our control, or at least not a direct result of our actions. These events still impact us gravely; just like this pandemic has. Here, the only control one has is the reaction one gives to the situation. It's a perspective change that we need to make. We need to change the verbiage we say and the thoughts that knock our minds.  

Victor Frankl, a prisoner of the Nazi concentration camp, went on to become a psychotherapist who also authored the book ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’. In his book, he describes the intense, incomprehensible, and incomparable human suffering in the concentration camps, that still led some people to survive and some towards death. He goes on to explain the role of hope and reason in our lives. He says when we associate meaning to our current situation, even if it is suffering, then it gives us the motive to survive.

Korean American Documentary Journalist, Enua Lee, who was detained in North Korea in March 2009 and spent 140 days in prison. She associated her motive to live with her career; she wanted to create an impact in the life of people suffering injustice. She narrates her life in prison and how human behavior has similar patterns irrespective of religion, culture, race, or place. She goes on to say that in spite of being at the mercy of the enemy, she kept having some odd experiences which kept her faith in humanity alive and her fear at bay to an extent. She then describes how an officer gave her a coat to keep her warm since she lost her coat while being caught by the enemy; how a guard offered her a boiled egg and said “This will give you the strength to keep going.” And how the female guards stationed near her cell had the same discussions any woman would have, on beauty, on dating and the like. Although she went through many psychological battles during her interrogation sessions, and her eventual sentencing to being in a labor camp, she gave meaning to her life in prison when she interacted with other guards on topics like life in the US, family, everyday life and children.

Several stories like these give us a perspective towards our lives and also a different outlook to it. To conclude, it is not about happiness or pain, it is not about loss or gain, it is not about misery or ecstasy, it is about the meaning you attach to your situation, whatever it is, it gives you a reason to live and go on.